Author: whitehousebound16@gmail.com

Freedom. Is anything really free? Free used to be my favorite four letter word.

But now? The really pesky freedom — freedom of speech — it’s just gotta go. And maybe also … freedom of the press?? I mean, most of the press has fallen in line… but there are still a few who have intellectual curiosity and the will to report facts instead of calling Trump the devil like they should…!!!

I hate when people have conspiracy theories and then they find out later that they are true and not conspiracy theories at all. (Like 1/2 the shit Trump says)

For example, our good pal, Soros. It has been said, time and again something to the effect of:

“Americans beware. The Soros network is coming after your free speech just in time for the U.S. elections — again.”

Oh so scary. And also so crazy. What will these conspiracy theorists come up with next?

Status meeting today.

Tampon Tim was hanging out with Alex Soros. And there is a picture of Tim actually bowing down to him. Not a great look. And our administration allowed Soros to buy over 200 radio stations. And, some reports claim Soros, our ultra liberal billionaire friend has spent $80 million to ‘silence’ Americans, and plans to continue to do this.

And then the rest of the meeting sounded like blah blah blah. I did a good job pretending to listen. But inside my head I was making that noise…. “Bwahahaha”

We good.

I just got the “Pants on Fire” award (again) from some pesky media outlet.

So…. Here’s the deal. I was with Oprah, touting my great economic plans… and I said UPenn Wharton School of Business found my economic plan to be positive. And way better than Trumpys. And … here… is ….the … kicker … some media outlets, instead of glorifying every single word I said (like they should), actually checked up on that.

And found that I lied.

What’s the big deal? What did they expect? My lips were moving.

What does Wharton actually think of my economic plan? Well, when asked by some fucking reporter who, for some reason thought their job is to be fair and accurate (loser —- wtf) … when they asked a representative from Wharton about my plan the response was:

“We did not find a positive impact on the economy from her plan in any future year.”

Come on.

The status meeting today… little update on how other people feel about my plan. Apparently another media outlet polled the CEOs of the major companies and reported that only 17 percent of the CEOs thought my plan was better than Trump’s plan. And only around 35 percent of voters think I would leave them better off at end of my Presidency.

What’s that old saying? You can fool 35 percent of the population some of the time but not all of the time?

The press really should be doing a better job at promoting me and my plan. I’m not a brain surgeon but I know the media is a propaganda machine… and they need to do their jobs better!

Just a side note. I’d love to look at banning Elon’s X and Fox News (and any other outlet that questions me) — wonder how easy that would be when I’m on the throne(?). I mean, when I’m President. There’s no throne. But, maybe we add one. Kinda jazz it up a bit.

We good. I think.

Jesus Christ on a popsicle. They won’t let me go out for interviews, but they let the Crypt Keeper Joe out?

He goes on The View and makes a fool of himself and then —- ties me to the Biden policies!! I’m trying my best to distance myself from the mess he/me have created. Like, “if you give me a chance — I’ll fix everything.” Not “you gave me a chance for past 4 years and I fucked it up, but now on DAY 1 I’ll fix it all.”

My vision for the economy…

To be very frank, I will never apologize for forcing businesses to bow to my will. We must raise corporate taxes. I’ve spent time with CEOs and the engines of Americas economy, and they want to pay more tax. That’s a fact, just ask me.

And going forward, I must be serious and have a plan, not just talking points ending in an exclamation. I’m not sure how to explain but I’m from a middle class family. I’m a middle class kid. We should look holistically and inspirationally for holistic ways to work people to death so they can afford eggs; the successful Bidenomics is doing this.

We good. But, f*ck Joe. His appearance on The View was like an early Christmas present for Trump.

Oh wait. That’s not entirely fair. I did an interview today where I said the American Dream is gone. The staff said that’s not a good look. Like I was in charge of the government when the American Dream died. No no no. Not me. Joe was President. But then he tied us together, that mother f*ucker. But, to be fair, I was at least drinking, so I have an excuse. Biden — he just old and dumb.

Oh well, no one cares.

I’m not Trump. I may be the devil, I may ruin America, I may not give a shit if people can walk down their streets without being mugged — or if they have money to buy gas…. but I’m not Trump. And the media is working overtime to make me look like we want the best for America.

And… Polls are getting closer.

We good?

MAHA – Make America Healthy Again —- is RFK Jr. crazy? Hard to tell.

It’s like he thinks the government and me and Biden and people like Fauci are rubbing our hands together in the dark making noises like supervillains —- bwahahaha or muahahaha—— and thinking of ways to make people sick.

Like we would invest in crazy labs inventing experimental crazy bat viruses or something equally horrific — maybe in foreign countries to perhaps hide our involvement — and then what? Mandate an experimental vaccine no one wants but we force them to take — one that causes all kinds of new medical problems?

What kind of crazy person thinks this would ever happen. In America!?

And … then his concern for the “kids” and “obesity”??

I mean – I think I heard nearly 70 percent of the foods kids eat are ultra processed shit. And adult and childhood obesity has never been higher.

But does JFK Jr think the government is allowing global foes like China and other large businesses that make money off the pharmaceutical industry (that need people to be sick) — to buy up farmland? And that we are investing in highly genetically modifying crops and growing fake meat for people in labs? I mean…

Or overlooking possibly 1000s of additives in our foods — known to cause cancer, brain issues, etc. — much of our food that is banned in Europe for those very reasons…who actually believes that this is happening? Crazy. He’s gotta be crazy. Seriously.

I mentioned these exact thoughts to the staffer that looks like a raccoon and she looked at me with one eyebrow raised. She looked at me for a while. The look on her face bewildered me. Maybe a mix of confusion and what? — what was it? — amusement? Disgust? Hard to tell.

Then … she asked me if I lived under a rock … and if I would like some more wine….

Yes. Fuck, I thought she would never ask… more wine for me. Finally. It’s gotta be five o’clock somewhere.

I think we good.

Status meeting today. They promised me wine.

Apparently, the IRS endorsed me. That adds to a long list of endorsements like Cheney, Putin, Iran, Hamas… really key endorsements.

Of course the IRS had no choice — if Trump gets elected and brings in Elon Musk to be the efficiency guy — 90 to 95 percent of the IRS agents will be cut (and the place will probably be run better).

The current IRS budget is over $12 billion. Average salary for IRS agents is over $70k. By 2029 this will balloon as they plan to add a shit ton of agents and likely increase costs to over $15 billion a year.

Elon. Pesky Elon. What would the IRS agents do if he comes in and cuts all their jobs?

Efficiency expert in Government? That’s gonna hurt.

One of our illustrious staffers said that Thomas Jefferson once proclaimed, “The government which governs best, governs least.”

But, they continued: that’s not how we work anymore. Now it’s like, the government that governs best, well, we just don’t know — government protects government. Spending increases and less gets done. California just spent $24 billion to reduce homelessness and their homeless population skyrocketed.

Why? Because government gave the money to private companies, mostly connected to the government individuals somehow, and realized homelessness was an effective money maker for them. As long as government was budgeting money to help homeless people, and they offered services, they could make more money by not ENDING homelessness but by ensuring it continued. And government workers had their pockets lined. And everyone’s fat and happy. Well, except businesses and taxpayers in CA who are fleeing the state because of homelessness and other crime issues —- hmmm.

I have no idea, they lost my attention at the beginning when I heard that wine would be served and I couldn’t take my eyes off the door thinking when exactly will someone be coming in with it?

And still no wine, what the fuck!

We good? No, we are not. Not until that wine they promised me gets here.

But who’s really counting?

So, I was given control of a $42 billion plan to give internet access to communities that are “underserved.” Rural.

1040 days later. Not one person has been given internet access. 1040 days.

That pesky Elon said he could do it overnight for pennies. Me — if I really wanted to solve the issue — I could have ordered Skylinks for each community and had everyone on the internet in 30 days or less (some in a day or two) for basically a minuscule portion of the budget. That’s what Elon would have done, given the task, apparently.

And Trump wants that guy — Elon Musk — in charge of stopping government waste? I’m not a brain surgeon — but who really cares about government waste? We do it all the time. We are just wasting hard earned money for tax-paying citizens. Who cares?

Hmmm. Maybe a tax payer could care? Oh… but we have them convinced that Trump is a true threat. They’re even trying to shoot the guy almost daily now.

Hopefully no voter starts to connect the dots here. And.. and see that perhaps Trump, Elon, and RFK could have some good points about saving America. I’m not a brain surgeon, but pesky Elon seems to have some good tricks up his sleeve. He’s even got Gavin’s panties in a bunch.

We good? Maybe.

Ok. So the event — the major event with Oprah happened. In Michigan. I think there were a little over 10,000 people watching. Major.

Oprah had many of her friends there or calling in virtually to support. I guess a lot of her friends actually couldn’t make it — I think they are serving time for raping women, and maybe a few paedofiles — but who’s counting?

I thought I did brilliantly.

And, all my staff could do is yell at me after.

They’re all like —- “No unscripted questions — that was the plan!! No word salads!! 11 seconds of talking!! What part of that didn’t you understand Kamala?”

Well…We kinda got off script. I answered a few basic questions. And they claimed it was like the horrendous, horrible ramblings of a brainless idiot. And they further claimed that even Oprah gave me the “what the fuck did you just say????” look.

After a few more pretty unfavorable comments, they replayed their favorite moment for me where I said:

“If somebody breaks into my house, they’re getting shot. I probably should not have said that. My staff will deal with that later.”

And I also cackled.

The staff is so upset. It’s almost as if I ran over their dog in the driveway. I didn’t — I don’t even drive.

And after some more yelling they tell me they absolutely going to deal with it. Best thing for all of us is to ensure I keep my mouth shut going forward. And they will work with media to make sure the reporting of the event is all completely glowing.

They are not happy, but we still have the media, I think. We good? I think. Maybe.

Just hope I don’t have to live in the basement like they made Joe……..

I guess I should be happy. Oprah is hosting a fantastic event for me and Tampon Tim in Michigan.

I should be grateful and happy. But I’m not. I am pissed. It’s just not fair that they only want me to me say thirty five words.

It is a 90 minute show. And me, soon to be leader of the free world — I got 35 words. About 11 seconds.

The so-called status meeting for the day, before the event, was less about the general status of our campaign and more of a nasty lecture to me from the handlers —- telling me in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to talk.

We are close, they say. We can’t afford anymore idiotic word salads from you. We can’t afford you opening your mouth and proving your incompetence to the public. Just smile, say these 35 words we are going to practice until you get them exactly right… and that’s it.

It’s just not fair. Bush famously said he loved being President because no one could make him eat his vegetables — or something like that. And me? No control.

They let Walz bumble around and skip and laugh with his dumb mouth as much as he wants. He’s a total fucking goofball — and they let him talk.

“We can’t afford the dumb things you are bound to say be broadcast to millions.”

I just wanted to talk a bit about how we’ve reduced crime in my administration. Farmington Hills, where the event took place, is one of the safest places in the USA, for example. I was definitely not going to talk about crime in the rest of Michigan. No fucking way. Certainly I would avoid mentioning the illegal immigrant that was recently arrested for a breaking into a home to sexually assault two young children, or the organized crime rings made up of aliens that are targeting homes in southeast Michigan for break-ins and robberies, or the two recent brutal killings in the country nearby by some undocumented immigrants, or the asylum seekers recently arrested for trying to solicit sex with minors. I may not be a brain surgeon but I would have the brains just to talk in meaningless circles — say crime is down, then talk in more meaningless circles — everyone loves that, right?

But they say, “listen very carefully— we let some more rich, liberal Hollywood elites tell people how to vote — and you keep your pie hole fucking shut.”

Wow. We good? No, no fucking good. Thanks, Obama.

I looked up DeChambeau on the internet. Apparently he’s a golfer and wants to play golf with me.

He seems pretty cool — his video of him playing with Trump got him a gazillion views and tons of subscribers. He’s easy on the eyes, too. I was seriously considering doing it, and went to the staff today to ask their thoughts.

“Should we do it?” I asked.

“No, Harris, no.”

“How hard can it be? Trump wins everything. I heard sometimes the secret service throws his ball out of bunkers, into the fairway…helps him out a bit.”

“Maybe so, Harris. But Trump is a great golfer. At one of his clubs, he won the Club Championship, the Senior Club Championship, the Super Senior Club Championship — and the Club gave him the Most Improved Golfer of the year award, also. You do not want to get into a golf match with him, with Bryson, or with anyone.”

“But, if the secret service throws his balls out of the rough, on the fairway, moves them closer to the hole… couldn’t they do that for me?” I turned to the very masculine, very strong-looking secret service officer in the room when I asked that question, directing it at him.

The secret service agent exclaims a clear and emphatic no. Weird. I shake my head. I don’t understand. And, I ask “Why not..!!??” also emphatically; I can do emphatic too.

“I don’t think I should say, Madame.”

Tell me, I say.

“Well, ok… first of all, most secret service agents think the Democrats cheat too much already and…” he stops, with a slight grin…, “and…” he stopped again.

“Go ahead— whatever you have to say, just say it…” I glare but he continues…

“Well, if Trumps ball is moved at all, I’m guessing the main reason the men and women do it for Trump is they like the guy. They want him to have fun and enjoy his rounds. They know he’s a good golfer, and they think moving the ball a bit is no big deal — it just makes everyone a little bit happier, and they genuinely like him. He’s nice to them; he treats them well. He’s done so much…sacrifices so much… if they can do a small thing like moving his ball a bit in the rough to give him a good lie, or a few inches here or there — a little tiny payback to make his day just a tiny bit nicer… it’s a small thing, really — but they can do it for him. So they do. Because they like him.”

I continue to glare. What is he insinuating? And, I finally respond, “so you don’t think they would move my ball for me? I’ve done a lot for this country. Don’t I deserve a little payback…?”

The agent looked at me but had no response.

“Well…? I am now demanding a response for the questions I have presented. Now.” Emphatically.

“You know. I may have misspoken a bit. You’re right. You have done a lot to this country, Madame Vice President. And, you have a secret service detail who spend a good deal of time with you and likely would want to pay you back. I may have been wrong. It’s possible if you took up golf, your detail would move the ball for you.”

I smiled. I won.

And then he continued, “it’s likely, Madame VP, and my best guess after this discussion — is that you would drive the ball perfectly in the middle of the fairway — and when you drove up to your ball, you would most likely find it buried in the bunker.”

He smirks. Gotta admit… I didn’t like that. I know it’s hard to get good help these days, but…

We good? No. No good. No good at all.

Admittedly, I’m not a brain surgeon.

But I truly can’t figure out why Pence refused to endorse Trump.

He’s a conservative Christian. He is pro-life. He has very strong beliefs, goes to church… he’s a gazillion miles away from me on guns — even to the RIGHT of Trump on gun issues.

Hmm. He is a champion of tax cuts — he cut taxes as a governor, has supported tax cuts as a method for growth — this year he started his own $10 million campaign JUST to preserve the Trump-era tax cuts that are set to expire next year when I win and let those expire. And then also raise tax on everyone.

He won’t buy into the 1200 genders or the stuff I love like the requirement to have DEI in all parts of government which is probably a waste of countless millions but does teach important things like asking an Asian colleague for help with a math problem could be racist and that men can become pregnant.

I just don’t get it. I debated him. I don’t like him. He’s calm, cool, smart — but strange. When we refer to Republicans as weird — he’s like the poster child of weird. He won’t go to dinner without his wife. Like old-fashioned weird.

But. He seemed like a guy of convictions. His values seemed to mean something to him. He was rigid in his beliefs. Mine —- change with the wind. I’m against fracking, I’m for fracking… I won’t take away your guns, I want to ban guns. I put people in jail and kept them there long after they should have been there for just possessing a little weed… and then publicly laughed/cackled/bragged about my own weed use. What do my handlers want me to say?? — I say it. I’m for giving illegal immigrants free health care, sex changes, abortions, phones, food, housing — whatever they want. And taking more tax from Americans to pay for that… Regardless of whether I said the opposite yesterday.

This is a binary race. Trump vs. me. Trump may have scorned him, or maybe tried to have him killed — I’m not sure — but his platform is Pence’s. And when you have a choice… do you vote for the person that shares your platform, your vision of America? Apparently not in his case.

When I have something that’s bothering me sometimes I ask questions aloud — not to anyone, just to myself, as I puzzle it over and over in my mind. It can help. But with all the secret service around me — it can get confusing like I’m actually asking them a question…like this morning:

“Why would Pence do that?”

“Why would he do what, Madame Vice President?”

“Oh nothing, I was just asking myself something aloud” and then, as if reflexes took over I said, “Why would former Vice President Pence say he cannot endorse Trump when my policies are so very opposed to his personal core values?”

“Ego over country, Madame Vice President.”

I glared at him — what did he just say!? And he coughed a bit and said, “He’s making the obvious choice, Comrade Harris.” Another glare from me, and then another cough from the obvious idiot. “I mean, surely nothing to do with ego, Madame Vice President.” And he coughed a few times again, and I swear under that cough was “Fuck Pence.”

Fuck it, some puzzles you just can’t figure out; they just have no answer.

We good.