Author: whitehousebound16@gmail.com

Little tortuous. Full day with Walz.

He’s just a little too folksy. Like folksy, “trust me, I’m a good guy” — then you find out he’s got 11 bodies buried in the back yard … and you’re like “yeah, I can see that.” He was a teacher. So again, like that folksy, I am nice, trust me yet kinda creepy teacher — and then you find out he been making clothes out of people’s skin and you’re like, “yeah, that tracks.”

And that voice…. I had a staffer that sounded like him once. So annoying — then I threw my coffee mug at him and he’s not working for me anymore.

Walz … reminds me a little bit of Tim Caine. Hillary’s pick. Yikes.

He also… well, he looks like an albino clown. Hard to look at for long. Ughhhhhh.

It’s gotta work though. We were good partners once, even if I had no idea who he was. For example, he let Minneapolis burn, then I helped bail out all the arsonists, looters, violent criminals — all of them. Partners.

I have a little bit of buyer’s remorse, though. And, it’s really just been one day with him. But, we tied up those 10 electoral college votes from the predictable blue state. The ones we probably would have gotten even if I shot someone in the street. So….

He’s pretty far left. Little too far left, maybe. Radically left is perhaps best way to put it. He’s like “squad” left. And two squad members have just lost their primaries. Perhaps a more moderate pick would have been better…

If only Shapiro wasn’t Jewish.

Oh well. Let’s brat. 90 days.

Ok. So we got the old white guy, finally.

He’s just a normal average guy. From Nebraska. Governor of a state called Minnesota which borders other states in a place with many states and one is called Minnesota.

His brother died from being hit by a tree, he plays basketball in the evenings in his driveway with his son. Just normal ex-geography teacher from the Midwest.

He gets me the 10 electoral college votes from Minnesota! Yay! So, just have to finagle my way to 270 only 260 more.

The media, they will help. They are already remaking my history. LFG.

I brat.

So let’s try and get this straight. Shapiro says Palestinians are too “war minded” to have a two-state solution. Then he says he wants two-state solution if the Palestinians don’t fuck it up. Then he says he’s a Zionist.

Zionist. Them’s fighting words at the New Democratic Party. Imagine the squad getting ahold of that. No good.

Then he apologizes for his pro-Israel stance. I mean, that’s good —- but I think he was also in the IDF (?) — I have a bunch of papers here that clearly outline his background. Which I don’t want to read. Brain ouch. So which is it?

He hates Netanyahu — but also is called Genocide Josh by the younger group. Would we force Genocide Joe out just to get Genocide Josh? Hell no.

He pressured college campuses to dismantle encampments and take down all the perfectly protected speech signs that said “from the river to the sea” (death to the Jews). I don’t think it’s going to work out. No matter how much back-peddling he’s trying to do now. Apologies for pro-Israel comments… still not enough. And also, he’s little too East Coast Jewish person-ish.

Walz? We need the Midwest. I know, the Midwest is a place in the middle of the US and we like the middle west and its middle ness. And people vote in the middle. And middle people live in the middle. And it’s also west. But just mainly mid, in general.

Oh and I don’t think they like Californians generally, or me generally, so maybe Walz could help the ticket there. They seem to like him for some reason. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why. But…

I brat. Comma La.

Who cares that Doug got the nanny pregnant? No one. Well, she was really a teacher at his kids’ school, but she also babysat. So not officially the nanny, but still not a great look…

But instead of writing about how great I am, or about my VP choice (announcing tomorrow!!) the press seems obsessed about the indiscretions of my husband years and years ago. They should be concerned about Trumpy not Dougy. That’s their JOB — to make Trump look bad. Not me. Not my family. Fuckers.

Back to something about Mayor Pete… really interesting that his husband won a ribbon for cherry PIT spitting! That’s pretty cool. I would like to try that sometime. Pretty much I just spit at my staff. But cherry pits could make it much more fun.

Yes, and back to —— the press writing about the Second Gentleman. So upsetting. Truly. The nerve.

Us liberals have been super successful (with big tech) at pushing many conservative voices out. Banning them from platforms, censoring their posts….threatening them, taking away their livelihoods… etc.

We have raised the cost of speaking freely so high that many conservative voices are keeping their mouths shut to avoid all the hassle and penalties.

Excellent.

But some media outlets still need to fall in line a bit. I’m off limits. My family … off limits. Back the fuck off. I am a once in a generation, once in a galaxy candidate. That’s the message. Period.

So, as I so famously have said.. It is a time for us to do what we have been doing, and that time is every day. Every day, it is time for us to agree that there are things and tools that are available to us.

Shut the fucking media down if they keep going after Doug is what I will do when I use the tools that we agree is a time for with the every day tasks that are here for us every day to have every day.

I brat.

It’s getting a little heated here. Trump says I’m dumb as a rock. How could he possibly think that?

Ok, so I didn’t pass the bar exam when approximately 80% of the people taking it did pass. So, that maybe makes me in bottom 20 percent of that group.

But really how dumb can a rock be? It’s a rock in the community with rocks, maybe we know a rock, maybe the community has rocks and some are actually rocks that are known. Are they dumb, or do they just exist and in reality are existing as rocks? Who really knows at this time?

My team says I need to follow the Biden approach to campaigning – like hide out in the basement. With Biden, the less we all saw of him the better it was for the campaign. That can’t be the same as me? Can it? People love my laugh, I know that!

One staffer even said, “It’s better that people think that you are stupid, than opening your mouth and proving it.” Of course, I then kicked her and told her not to look me directly in the eyes for next six months. We will see if she lasts.

I’m Kamala. I’m in a green t-shirt with a small hole on the side of it, my pronouns are she/her and sometimes I identify as a rock. But who’s counting?

Ok. So I pronounced my own name wrong today. It’s easy. Everyone does it. It’s Comma La.

Not Ka Mala.

You know, people often pronounce their own name wrong. There is nothing weird about it. JD Vance, Trump – now that’s weird. Sure, their policies are what most Americans want… but who’s counting.

Looking forward to going to Pennsylvania next week. It’s a state that has a long history of being part of America’s history. And the history is history to us and the history of America.

Just have to remember the pronunciation of my own name and all will be good. Comma La. I brat.

Andy Beshear of Kentucky, J.B. Pritzker of Illinois, Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania, Tim Walz of Minnesota, Mark Kelly of Arizona, or Mayor Pete.

Personally, I would love to pick Mayor Pete, but I can’t say or spell his name so probably he’s a no.

I mean I want him just because he’s young and cute and talks well and he’s nice and he’s gay. Seriously. Maybe that sounds weird. But it wouldn’t be because he is good at his job. He’s actually so bad it is unbelievable. Transportation Secretary was supposed to be a cushy job where you travel around and meet a lot of people. He could be seen, heard, become more familiar with the masses. All positive.

But train derailments, planes having so much trouble (doors flying off!?), two Boeing whistle blowers dying under strange circumstances… the worst plane cancellations and delays in history. Like super unfortunate— he must have a black cloud over his head.

Maybe it’s not his fault. But with this kind of a record at the head of the department … not good.

Could be Pritzker. Nah. Too old and just looks weird. He is a billionaire. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Maybe I need to put that on the list of questions to ask Obama. But no to Pritzker. Too hard to look at.

Shapiro? Well, no one really saying it loudly but there is a lot of hush hush talk around the campaign staff to the effect of — he can’t be a serious contender — because…. he’s Jewish. Wow. I did say we shouldn’t call people that flew planes into buildings or that kill a bunch of people by blowing themselves up radical Islamic terrorists. And I have been very sympathetic to the Palestinian cause and to the campus demonstrators. Even the ones calling for the genocide of Jews or the destruction of the Jewish State. I’m a democrat. I believe in free speech (well, not for conservatives, or parents, obviously, but who’s counting!?). And I desperately need the support of Dearborn-based Arab American News… but hey, I’m not totally against Israel. But, it’s the Arabs I have to pander to. I’m married to a Jew after all, the Jewish voters will fall in line. No matter how many times we go against Israel. But, yah, no to Shapiro.

Walz? Wait. Is it weird that we call men running for political office by their last name, but women running for office are called by their last name. Seriously. Hillary, Kamala, crazy Mazie, Pocahontas, I could go on. But the men. Always last name. Trump, Bush, Rubio, Biden, Obama. What’s with that?

I planned to write about each contender memember tonight (another new word but not really that good, if I’m being honest). But seriously — I’m “interviewing them” but I’m not “choosing”. It’s a group thing. It’s all about the Team. And Obama. Not me. I’m good. And at this point it’s kinda boring to write about. Maybe more later. Exhausted and drank too much red wine. This trying to become President thingy is rough.

Freedom people. It’s the prosecutor v. the felon: I don’t see how I can lose. No matter how bad I would be for the future of the country.

I guess I will finish with one of my favorites: It is time for us to do what we have been doing. And that time is every day.”

Oh hello. Old man Biden has been trying to tell me about this personal diary for weeks actually. But I don’t really listen to him and also he doesn’t make sense.

Ok. So I’m beat. That was an autocorrect. I’m brat. Not beat. If I could figure out how to type out my cackle, I would type it here! Beat. Ha.
I don’t actually understand brat but hello – this is my personal diary and the GenZ crowd say lean into it. Brat. Not the diary. Hopefully no one ever sees this diary. It got Clinton and Biden secrets here. And now. The first Indian President. Or Black. Whatever. Both. Or whatever ever gets more votes, actually.
Not sure about the old man but I think the diary is worth a try. A way to get stuff off my chest – same chest Willie Brown liked to lick – but who’s keeping track? I am the Presidential Menominee. I made up a word. Kinda like Mamala. So cool. You know, I can be relevant and hip and relevant and hip and all that.
Also…

If you go to Google right now and google Trump you get a bunch of articles about me. God Bless Google, and God spite the Jews. Funny how I can put that in my personal diary. If I ever said that aloud, I’d have to trust the media to suppress it or erase it or rewrite it —- you know, like they did with my past.
Well, I would love to write more. But my brain starting to hurt.

Suffice is to say. Not all progress is gradual or linear. Sometimes Deadpool controls your thoughts. It happens.

God Bless America. K

l

Looks like we are gonna pull this off. Bad orange man bad was a great running platform. The media on my side … it was brilliant. Russia Russia Russia and Impeach Impeach Impeach gave us a big lead in the house in 2018. The media is great at driving home a point – any point – even if it’s not true.

We are still working to steal the senate. I think it’s likely we can still pull that off. Few more ballots here and there.

Close electoral college situation. Up 19k votes in Arizona with 10 percent of the votes not counted. Up 10k votes in Georgia. Let’s than a 1 percent victory in many states. Some states headed to recounts. And Nevada using sloths to count their votes seems strange.

Anyway, the media called the victor. I’ll heal the nation. Need to nap first.

Come on, man.

Looks like it comes down to Nevada.

Oh, sure. We could probably dig up another million votes in a Pennsylvania. Or some other states. But, to minimize the chatter about “cheating” it would help to just win Nevada. I’m up, even though the rural vote still needs to come in and those yee haws like Trump.

Capitalism is killing us. A state that thrives on greed, avarice, and tit bars is going to be the difference in the election. At least that’s what they are telling me. Come on Silver State. I can’t believe I’m going to be the Senator of the US!

Pennsylvania found a way to minimize votes for Trump. Just don’t let anyone watch the vote counting. No observers. Big trash cans marked with “place valid Trump votes here for counting”. Great job PA!

Come on, Nevada. How long does it take to count votes anyway. China wants an answer on who will be President. Don’t let them down.

Come on, man.