Month: October 2024

Status meeting. I was hoping for an awesome “October Surprise” — something that would secure my victory and put me on the throne.

And what was my October surprise courtesy of my great team? This brilliant collection of comrades steering my campaign decisions!?

They said we need to change the message to:

“Hold your nose and vote for Kamala.”

That’s it!? I thought they were pulling a prank.

But they explained… our campaign had so much wonderful momentum. It peaked twice — once when Joe pulled out and they gave the spot to me. And once at and around the DNC.

Our campaign peaked before anyone had heard from me… and then again after a brilliant, very well-rehearsed speech with a ton of hype and some of the best warm-up speakers the Dems have to offer. And they don’t think there is a third peak on the horizon.

Quite the opposite actually — apparently — the more that voters see and hear from me, the less they like me. And at the slow decline in the poll numbers we have going week over week, we aren’t going to make it to the finish line.

And there isn’t an option to put me in the basement — after we hid Biden away, voters just won’t take it.

And we know our platform is widely unpopular. So we can’t try and sell that. Oh sure, I can try and word salad stuff and wrap it up in a pretty bow and hope no one checks. But, a majority of American people actually want what Trump is selling — mass deportations, (especially criminals), closed borders with legal immigration as the only form of entry, school choice, no more biological men in women’s sports, decreased energy costs, being stronger on the international stage, no more wars, strength against China and other adversaries… no tax on tips, lower taxes, more safety, lower regulation, smaller government (Musk watching efficiency), healthier population (RFK Jr. watching over this), and bright women and men like Tulsi Gabbard and Vivek what’shisname helping America be great.

Ugh.

So, we can’t sell our message of increased government, higher taxes, high inflation… I mean, screaming “but we will give you abortions” has started to become very old news. According to my staff.

So, we are forced to shift messaging to:

“You may not like her, but hold your nose and vote for her anyway.”

So. We pivot. And tell people —- just do it. Hold your nose and vote for Kamala.

I think they are making up signs for our rallies now.

Great.

I guess we good.

Tyrus. George Murdoch. But he goes by Tyrus.

He’s a pretty famous wrestler once known as Brodus Clay or The Funkasaurus. But, now, just Tyrus.

He’s also a New York Times Best seller and political commentator.

He’s huge. Like a really, really big guy. A little too manly for my taste. Well, most men are more manly than my Dougie. But, who’s counting.

Anywho. George Murdoch — Tyrus — has gone by a lot of names. But, today I’m calling him — “the reason why I’m losing voters.”

Last night, on Gutfeld! (apparently a late night phenomenon) Tyrus took the time to applaud Bret Baier for doing such a great job asking me the questions no one else would and pointing out the gigantic flaws in some of my regular talking points.

For example, one of my favorite talking points —

“On our very first seconds in office in 2021, before we did anything else, we tackled immigration and wrote a ‘comprehensive reform bill’ that we sent to Congress to do that. But those horrible guys in Congress screwed it up. And Trump, too. It’s probably his fault.”

Well. The truth is the bill we authored didn’t really do anything to stop illegal immigration — it was basically a pathway to citizenship for the 10 million illegals here. And in the first seconds of our administration, we canceled all the policies that Trump had put in place that had illegal border crossings down to a historic low. Then, we openly encouraged people from all over the world to come and we opened the border, for anyone from any background (yes, including murderers, human traffickers, rapists, child abusers) — and the plan was to get them citizenship also.

And Bret, one of the few people who have actually read that bill — pointed out that my favorite talking point was nothing more than a misleading lie. And our actions have resulted in a disaster for the country.

Tyrus. He noticed.

We have the rest of the media saying I was great. Even my own staff said I put together enough word salads and nonsense to confuse everyone, and no one watched it, and we got a few sound bites, and here is some more wine Kamala, leave the adults to do the planning.

But Tyrus. He listened. And, he said it. And now it’s out there. And people can see for themselves. It might not be him, or what he said really — maybe he’s more like a giant metaphor for all the people starting to use their own brains and their own heads. And … realizing that the media and my surrogates are really great at only a couple of things — and one is twisting the truth, and the other is demonizing Trump. I’m not sure the other things they are good at. If anything.

Oh, did I forget to mention Charlamagne tha God? I had some good word salads with him, too. Funny thing is I had no idea who Tyrus was until I went on Charlamagne’s show. Apparently, Charlamagne went on Gutfeld! a few months back. And Tyrus outmaneuvered Charlamagne verbally, shut him down a few times, and basically was the bane of his existence on the show that night —- making Charlamagne look pretty silly, in fact. Charlamagne brought it up to me, like it still bugged him. A lot.

And now, coincidentally, Tyrus could be the bane of my existence, too? That’s some weird shit.

Nah, we gotta be good. Too many of our controlled media crew are touting my “excellence” — we good?

Maybe.

It’s not really me, it’s them.

Ok, sure I can tell a doozy, stretch the truth, make up things, twist the “facts” — I can and do lie. Frankly, a lot.

But really, it’s my surrogates, the supporters on social media platforms, it’s The Lincoln Project — that is a “conservative group” — “Kamala Wins” and Kamala HQ twitter feeds, and the entire main stream media — CNN, CBS, MSNBC, ABC — most of the alphabet — even FOX at times. It’s a large machine of fake news.

Biden. Now he can and does lie. A shit ton. Take his favorite one “the very fine people” lie. He loves to repeat that Trump is a racist because he said something to the effect of “there are very fine people on both sides” — in the protests on whether or not to keep a statue in Charlottesville. What Sleepy Joe repeatedly claims is Trump thinks neo-nazis are “very fine people.” Which is not true. It’s a clever manipulation of different words — and has been often repeated by media and our online surrogates. But it’s a lie.

Trump meant — that there were very fine people on both sides of whether to keep the statue of Robert E. Lee or not — obvious to anyone who has spent more than a minute looking at the controversy. Some that wanted to keep it were arguing that we should not rid ourselves of the ugly past but keep it as a reminder. Some had other reasons to keep it — historical, artistic, slippery slope, etc. — but not everyone who wanted to keep it were white nationalist/neo-nazis.

The debate and protests about the statue turned ugly and white supremacists marched on Charlottesville and a woman lost her life when one of the bigoted hate-filled men intentionally drove his car into the protests and hit her and others. Horrible.

But what did Trump actually say? He said the day of those protests, “We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence, on many sides. On many sides.” 

He went further to say that he had spoken to Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe, and “we agreed that the hate and the division must stop, and must stop right now. We have to come together as Americans with love for our nation and true affection — really — and I say this so strongly — true affection for each other.”

When asked about The “very fine people” comment itself, Trump explained, “I’m not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists — because they should be condemned totally. But you had many people in that group other than neo-Nazis and white nationalists.”

He further, in the days that followed, condemned neo-nazis, white nationalists, and any form of bigotry many, many, times. But does it matter?

Does it matter that he isn’t racist, or homophobic, or Islamophobia, or any of the things we like to call him? It’s so easy to call him Hitler and walk away. It’s much harder to explain to people that we will do better for America than he will. Because they know. They saw the peace and prosperity under Trump.

And a lie, when repeated enough, becomes the truth.

Trump — He hires people from all backgrounds. All races, all sexes, all genders — anyone he thinks can do the job. He had the first openly gay cabinet member — Richard Grenell — Acting Director of National Intelligence (DNI).

He’s a tough boss with high expectations. And, he’s not a government, warmongering Washington insider. So, he’s often disliked by the people who are. But the lie that he is racist? Or bigoted or anti-Semitic. It’s so easy and so brilliant.

He frequently continually condemns racism, bigotry, hate and antisemitism like:

TRUMP: “The riots in Charlottesville a year ago resulted in senseless death and division… I condemn all types of racism and acts of violence.” (August 11, 2018)

TRUMP: “We forcefully condemn the evil of anti-Semitism and hate. It must be defeated.” (April 27, 2019)

But, his words are rarely repeated. And we have a big group, a large Big-Tech, mainstream media, Soros funded conglomerate that says the opposite.

And voters so busy with their video games and their second jobs (to be able to afford milk and gas under my economy) … the people just don’t take the time (or have the time) to check for themselves.

It’s brilliant. No one wants a racist as President. So we made him one. Even though he’s not. Who’s counting? In the choice between incompetence and evil, people will choose incompetence— even when the evil is as real as the boogie man under my bed.

We good.

Status meeting this morning. We are “bleeding” black men. 

Obama is making his rounds. And, it’s not helping. In fact, my campaign consultants think it’s hurting.

Why?

Because instead of an inspiring message, he has become the “Scolder in Chief”.

Well, I’m no brain surgeon but I can understand why trying to shame people into voting is easier than coming up with a reason to vote for me.

However — I don’t think black people (or anyone for that matter) enjoy being scolded/shamed or treated like they can’t use their own brains -— as if — they want to use their brains and cast their vote as they see fit — and Obama just comes around to shame them into voting for me. Because he thinks that’s good enough.

It’s all a guessing game but it appears to be backfiring. We are losing steam with black voters — men in particular.

There were no policies he laid out to prove I am worthy of their vote. There was nothing specific he could say I would do to help black men or black women or black neighborhoods.

His argument? I’m not Trump. And, at this point — with his scolding and shaming — that, by itself, might not be enough. 

My staff is complaining that his tone could potentially be alienating for a vital group of Democratic voters. And, it’s still a guessing game, but they think that potentially 25-30 percent of black voters still have not chosen who to vote for. And a large part of that undecided vote has become disillusioned with the Democratic Party — our government control, our mandates, the higher prices, high inflation, our rhetoric that masculinity is toxic, our attack on religion, or any number of things that really isn’t resonating with them — but they are potentially still persuadable…

Except when belittled, shamed, and scolded.

Is Obama working against me?

We good? No.

Right now, we not good. Not good at all. Thanks, Obama.

I’m still not a brain surgeon but I’m guessing my staff thinks I’m a miracle worker.

First they have me trying to sell Democrats as “more patriotic than the Republicans” — now, apparently they are asking me to say we are “more churchy” too?

What the literal F.

The Democrats forced the police to arrest churchgoers attending church OUTSIDE and socially distanced. Because they weren’t wearing masks. Outside.

During the pandemic, the Democrats forced churches to close, gave out citations to church goers (even ones at a “drive-in church” where they were inside their own cars, with only their own families).

We threw the Constitution out the window during the pandemic. The Constitution was put in place to protect the right for Americans to practice religion freely. But we just generally didn’t care that people wanted to express or maintain that right.

No. We did not.

We let strip clubs stay open. But not churches. Not even outdoor services were permitted.

Why? Because we don’t care about religion or freedoms. But we do care about government control.

I did hear that quote by CS Lewis that goes something like this, “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”

Reminds me of the Democratic Party. But now, I’m selling the Democratic Party as the party of churchy people? Of Religion?

It’s gonna be another hard sell.

Damn. We good? Hmm, well as long as we still have the media, I guess so.

I’m not a brain surgeon, but selling the Democratic Party as the MORE patriotic party? That’s a hard sell.

The Democrats. The party of flag burning, kneeling for the anthem, supporting the BLM rioters, allowing criminals to invade the southern border… the party that has bragged about wanting to limit free speech (both me and Walz), the party who branded parents asking questions at school board meetings terrorists, the party planning to do everything in our power to obliterate Title IX which is a fundamental civil right law for women… the party that jailed journalists, said we need to defund the police and eliminate ICE… The party that waves the Ukraine flag in the Senate and let the Palestine flag replace the American flag outside…

The party who used lawfare to try and keep two candidates off the ballot — Trump and RFK Jr. Never mind what the voters may want — we sued to not even give voters the ability to vote for our opponents.

The party that weaponized the IRS against our political opponents, the party that believes in hiring people not because of their abilities or work ethic — but because of their skin color or gender.

The party that worked with BIG TECH to silence any political opponents, anyone that questioned vaccines, anyone at all that may have been telling 100 percent truth — but that didn’t fit our narratives. Silenced. F the first amendment.

The party that tried to put moms in jail because their kids were truant — it didn’t matter than their kids were in the hospital … all that mattered was our narrative.

The party that effectively burned colleges like Berkeley in order to stop ONE conservative speaker from being allowed in.

The party that would not allow peaceful protests from pro-Israel supporters, but championed the pro-Hamas side because “their speech should be protected.”

The party that called 1/2 the country bigots, deplorables… the party that would end parental rights…

The party that jailed grandmothers for going to the gym or trying to keep their businesses open during the pandemic. That arrested surfers. Or gym owners for making workout gear available for free American citizens who were doing their best to stay healthy in a pandemic. But paid to get rioters out of jail that caused approximately $500 million dollars worth of damage and killed 25 people during their rampage.

The party that squashed freedom of religion by forcing churches to close — while strip clubs and Walmart could be open.

The party that took money from big Pharma and told every American to get a vaccine or lose their ability to work or go to school. Put on a mask, sit down, shut up, and put a jab in their arms. No matter the health risk or your individual freedom to have healthcare choices for your own bodies.

Wait. Where was I? Yes. All of that list is fine. And dandy. We definitely want government control over everything.

But if we smile, call Trump a threat a few more times — will that be enough to sell us as the more patriotic group?

Maybe. People really hate him. Are they willing to give up their country — allow more rapists, murderers, and terrorists in? Allow their rights to … well, go away? And vote for the me, the “MORE Patriotic” choice now that I have a video of me with a flag in it and one of me putting diapers in boxes that are headed to hurricane victims?

Probably? Maybe it’s not that hard of a sell. I don’t think people are paying attention anymore. And the video of me with a flag in the background is pretty cool.

We good.

I have to be nice to RFK Jr. this week. His mother, a great American, supporter of human rights, mother to 11, an objectively great person, passed away last week.

May she be a light for others, and rest in peace.

But. And here’s the kicker. My staff — I guess to punish me for my “bad interviews” this week (their words, not mine) — made me listen to the RFK Jr. livestream last night from Palm Beach in the free state of Florida.

Why?

Specifically to listen to Tulsi Gabbard.

Why?

The staff just loves the way she speaks. Maybe they are optimistic that if I listen her I might learn (from her) how to answer a question, be coherent, patriotic, passionate, etc. in a way that is meaningful for the listener.

To get to Tulsi, we had to sit through Bobby, then Don Jr., then Vivek… and finally Tulsi.

My staff shook their heads for most of it. A few times there were audible gasps. It also started raining (and it was an outdoor event) so there were a few cracks about the Democrats controlling the weather and wrecking things — but the show went on. With umbrellas.

In our room, watching and listening I could hear mumbles like, “Thank goodness we shut Bobby out of the race, stopped the press from talking to him, and used big tech and law fare to silence him in many places — he could really motivate people if more people were able to listen to him” and “Damn, he’s amazing, just listen to him organize his points and speak logically and passionately” and “It’s a shame he’s not on our side anymore” and “the man sure knows how to garner support” and “this Anti-establishment rhetoric he’s got going could really hurt us” and “he should be President”

Wait – what? Like— I’m in the room! Right here — what am I —- chopped liver?

And more… “Vivek is incredibly articulate” and “Don Jr. speaks very movingly”…

And then Tulsi. Someone said, “shut up everyone and listen.”

Ok. So I listened. She has a great little tale about government and big tech combining forces to go after her and parents and the rest of America. And the fear (and facts and examples to back this fear up) — that Americans will lose fundamental freedoms if I win. And, it did sound good. It made a lot of sense. I have to admit, she is impressive.

And then, when everything finally ended, the staff turned to me and sat there speechless for a few minutes.

“What!?” I finally said.

“There is no way we could ever get you there, no way you could ever be as good as her — or any of them. We could dream, but you just will never be her. We will just have to hope the media keeps doing their job in propping you up. And that they keep this group — this Unity bullshit — off the air as much as possible. It’s our only hope at this point. Go to bed, Kamala. We got a long few weeks ahead.”

We good…..? I’m not so sure.

The border crisis is out of control, inflation is killing the middle and lower class, homelessness is at an all time high, crime is ramping up (maybe partially because of the first three things)… and most middle and lower class Americans feel they are worse off than when Trump left office.

The wealthy are fine. My administration has done well for the wealthy. I like to say Trump is only going to help the wealthy, but during my administration we’ve done pretty poorly with the lower and middle class — but just great for the wealthy. What do they say — the proof is in the pudding?

Anywho. Back to my original thought. Elevator speech. Pretty much every single person trying to get a job, or running for office — high school student council and perhaps the President of the United States — needs an “Elevator Speech” or a short few words that they can use to introduce themselves or “sell themselves” if you will.

I was given plenty of opportunities to use that elevator speech this week.

— on “The View”

“What would you do differently than Biden” … insert elevator speech here — but instead I said “nothing comes to mind”

— on “The Late Show”

“What would the major changes be under your administration”… insert elevator speech here — but instead I said “I’m not Joe Biden”

— on “The Howard Stern Show”

“I’m voting for you. But I would also vote for that wall over there.” … insert outrage that I was compared to a wall and then my elevator speech on why he should want to vote for ME, not just ANYTHING or ANYONE except Donald — but instead I just cackled.

I’ve had the past few months — actually, if I think about it — my entire adult life to work on a 20-30 second explanation of who I am, what I stand for, and why people should support me.

And the best I can do is, “I’m not Biden, and I’m not Trump.”

My staff says that’s good enough. And, even if we practiced the elevator speech a hundred times that — unless they held up a teleprompter for me with the exact words for me to read — I’d probably turn it into a meaningless word salad or start to tout my Marxist values anyway. So, they tell me to stick with “you’re not Biden” because that is what has created the most excitement amongst the Democrats anyway. Certainly not anything else I say or do. I don’t think that’s very nice, but maybe they are right?

My favorite wine just got more expensive. That sucks. The morgues are full in NC, but I did a photo op in front of a plane of supplies (that never ended up going to NC because of “mechanical issues” — but who’s counting?) so that seems good.

Maybe I’ll talk to the staff about giving another rousing speech about shrinkflation or price-gouging… Not that I have plans to do anything about it. Except maybe drink more wine.

We good.

We can get rid of the Freedom of Speech.

I know Freedom of Speech is considered a fundamental right protected by the First Amendment of the Constitution— and the Constitution is “the bedrock of Democracy” — but we would like nothing more to curtail it wherever we want.

Timmy and I allude to it in nearly all of our speeches — and personals appearances —but do people care? We are the party of joy, and beyond that — I genuinely think the voters say, “take away our freedoms” because we aren’t “that terrible monster” Trump.

I harp on and on about Trump being an existential and threat to Democracy… and on and on…

But, I guess if voters digged just a little bit into what we want to do… I mean — getting rid of Freedom of Speech is just the tip of the iceberg.

How will we take away the Freedom of Speech? Well, first of all, we can label things misinformation or hate speech. Anything that doesn’t go along with the government (or my view) could be disinformation/misinformation. Anything that doesn’t go along with the government view (or my view) could be also be labeled hate speech.

For example — it’s ok by me to go on college campuses and hold protest signs that call for the destruction of Israel and the mass murder of the Jewish people living in that state. Because these are valid protests, protected by our administration as protected freedom of speech.

But — on the other hand — parents who would like to speak up (even silently) about what they (and most scientists and most studies) consider to be unfair to their daughters — letting biological boys play against them in their sports — those parents should sit down and shut up. Or, maybe worse. Be harshly penalized? Jailed?

Take the parents of some high school girls in New Hampshire. They wanted to protest biological boys playing against their daughters in their soccer league. They did this by wearing pink wristbands with XX on them.

Their protest (wearing wristbands) was deemed hate speech/harassment and they were banned from all remaining games — one banned from campus. That seems fair.

Never mind that they weren’t actually saying anything against the LGBTQ community, or the specific biological boys in their daughters’ district who identified as girls — they were merely asking the school district to recognize that Title IX was put into place to protect women’s sports and allow women to have an equal playing field — to avoid having them compete with men. And, they were concerned for their girls’ rights and their safety.

And then — they were banned from all games and one from even going on campus. Because they wore pink wristbands.

They weren’t calling for the transgender girls to be harmed or actually saying anything negative at all about those individuals. (Like the college campus protests are that we support, but who’s counting?)

But does that matter? It just doesn’t really agree with our government view or our narrative that puts the biological boys who identify as girls rights above biological girls’ rights.

Some judge just ruled they could go back to their own children’s games — if they don’t wear the wristbands. They are not allowed to disagree with what government says. They are not allowed to protest policies forced on them by the government. Forced on their daughters and granddaughters.

And that’s great. There should be a lot more of this. I’m so excited I’m almost giddy. There are parents who want a voice on how to raise their kids all across America. Parents who would like to see Title IX upheld and have their children competing against other people of the same sex.

But decisions about how you can raise your kids — this should clearly be the role of the government. Walz correctly took parental rights away in Minnesota — and we can do that across the country.

This is going to be great!

We good.

I released this statement:

“Any company or individual that tries to exploit Americans in an emergency should know that the Administration is monitoring for allegations of fraud and price gouging and will hold those taking advantage of the situation accountable.”

Ok. That’s amazing. As it should be.

I mean, as long as the voters don’t think too much about it. ‘Cause it sounds good, right.

And as long as they don’t apply it to anything else, like.. in their voting decision, for example.

It’s just like… do we support people being held accountable? No. Not really.

If we did, then how could I ask for people’s votes? We would be not be worthy of votes. None. Because we would tell people to hold us accountable for:

— the $5-20k a year MORE that it’s costing average American families to live now, because we have let inflation run amok. I’m bad at math, but making people spend a lot more on everyday items like milk, gas, food seems like something we should be accountable for. While there is generally inflation each year, we set records for inflation. And that’s not good, by any kind of math.

— the border crisis. It effectively happened overnight, the day we took office. And it’s a disaster. But why? Real incompetence is the only logical conclusion.

— the Afghanistan withdrawal. It’s a good thing American’s have a short memory. I even bragged about my role in the decisions there. We abandoned $7.2 billion worth of equipment that the Taliban has taken full advantage of — using them and also selling them to terrorists around the world. Oh, and the 13 service members killed, Americans stranded in the region, and no women able to go to school anymore… brilliant? No. Very bad.

— our party of “joy” that still frequently takes opportunities to portray half the country as evil, anti-democratic monsters.

I don’t know. There is just so much I could list. And so little time. I need to look into whether I can go after some mom-and-pop hotels and restaurants charging more than I think they should. Priorities.

And, most voters are still just believing the main stream media. Unbiased, of course. ABC, for example — I think 100 percent of their stories about me have been positive. 100 percent. Overall, I think about 85 percent of media stories about me are positive stories. They “cherry pick” the good stuff and ignore the bad. There is that pesky Fox News. But, I can deal with that AFTER the election. Who needs freedom of speech or the press. Or the Supreme Court or the Senate, for that matter. And who needs parents to have a say in the way they raise their kids.

No. We good.