Well, the only place worse than Pittsburgh is Houston.
And, coming here makes me look like a loser. Because I’m trailing Trump by five points in Texas. And… I come here saying, “we can win Texas” and we all know that’s a pipe dream. So, it’s basically a waste of time.
But I’m here anyway. Collin Allred kinda “big leaguing” me… too busy to look my way or talk to me… which is weird since he will be a big nobody on 11/5 and I’ll be President. Maybe. Maybe not.
But the great thing about today — I have goosebumps — Beyoncé coming on stage and endorsing me.
First, it’s really much easier to fill the seats at my rallies when we get a big name like Beyoncé. I know we lied that she would be at DNC so we could have viewership. But, today’s she’s really gonna come.
Internal polling found that the Taylor Swift endorsement actually hurt my Gen Z voter turnout. And probably made more people NOT want to vote for me than it encouraged people to vote. Weird. But that’s the polling.
But Beyoncé — singing with some guy named Willie Nelson? That’s gotta help.
Right?
I mean… I go on stage, throw out a couple of word salads and read the teleprompter for a short period. Try not to yell and seem like an angry shrew, try not to laugh and look like an idiotic hyena (it’s harder than it looks) — and we will get some great excitement around Queen Bey.
Who cares about policy? Or that people are worse off than they were four years ago and feel the country is headed in the wrong direction?
People will vote for me because we got Queen Bey, surely.
We good? Kinda…