Status meeting.
I’m not sure why, but people in my staff keep calling Al Gore the “ManBearPig” guy.
Al Gore. I’m don’t quite know his story, but I think he created the internet, predicted the complete destruction of the polar ice caps by 10 years ago, and said NYC and Florida would be underwater by now or soon — totally a guy that should be taken seriously. I think. I’m bad at math, I would have to check that.
And why are we even talking about this Al Gore guy in my status meeting?
Surprisingly, he is the 12th most popular Democrat. And, he’s now hosting a sold-out fundraiser in Washington DC for me. I mean most political fundraisers cost tens of thousands and I think I heard he sold out his at $500 a head (like it was for a local high school band or something). But, who’s counting?
What is he most famous for? Well, he was the incumbent Vice President running for President in 2000 — a clear favorite.
Wait a minute…. I’m an incumbent VP running for President. And I’m the clear favorite as well.
But he lost.
And I think a staffer said he lost to some guy named Chad, but I’m pretty sure he lost to George W. Bush. Maybe my staff is trying to confuse me. Again. Like when they try to explain to me that my price control plan will not help inflation — it will hurt it. Math stuff.
Hey. I appeared on 60 minutes yesterday! Shouldn’t we be talking about that instead of making jokes about ManBearPig?
So I ask the staffers and the campaign people, “Why aren’t we talking about my awesome 60 minutes interview”
And I get shit in response like:
— Nothing to talk about
— My mom told me if I had nothing nice to say, say nothing at all
— I’m trying to forget it happened
— I have PTSD
— Didn’t we all agree to tell her she’s not allowed to talk in these meetings anymore?
— Mayorkas said we were out of FEMA money but no one warned us we didn’t have enough money to pay your brain bill…
Wait, what?
Fucking staff. Oh well. I’ll just keep going out there and doing my job — like politicizing the weather and pretending to be for the people…
We good.