I hate camping or really anything to do with the outdoors and math. Not sure why I’m thinking about math, or what it has to do with camping, I’m just bad at it and hate it. But, camping? It’s just too — what’s the word I’m looking for — it’s “beneath me” — for people nothing like me — “regular” people, maybe it’s for people who are good at math. I don’t know. All I think is —- fuck camping. And math.
But, what does my team do? They came up with some “kitschy” thing called “Camp Kamala” which kinda makes me cringe and I have trouble saying it out loud without looking visibly uncomfortable.
And what the f is it anyway? Camp Kamala is advertised to be an exclusive leadership development opportunity for our top supporters to get trained up on our messaging and key skills to knock doors, make calls, and organize and win this fall.
And we are teaching very important things, VERY IMPORTANT things that I and the Democratic Party stands for:
— merit and achievement should take a back seat to identity politics
— freedom of speech is very dangerous
— we have to stay “woke.” Like, everybody needs to be ‘woke.’ And you can talk about if you’re the ‘wokest’ or ‘woker’ but just a more ‘woke’ than less “woke”
— sex changes for every inmate in the USA should be paid for by tax payers. And biological men who start identifying as women in prison should automatically be transferred to women’s prison. Do not listen to the haters that talk about the high price of this (what better use could we possibly have for tax payer dollars!?) or the many times that this important policy has ended up bad for women who have been raped, physically assaulted, and violently harassed by these transgenders in prison. For example, a man who killed his parents decided he wanted to be a woman and so we transferred him to a women’s prison. He —- she — ended up raping women and assaulting multiple women in the prison. There is also that story of the serial killer of women who was imprisoned, then started identifying as a woman and was transferred into a women’s prison in Washington state and was tormenting and raping the women. These are stories you can ignore. Isolated incidents that have only happened in New York, Illinois, Oregon, California, New Jersey, Washington and — who’s counting? Ignore.
— women should have complete control over their bodies. But, not if we come up with another virus and then a dangerous experimental vaccine to “save everyone” from the virus. In this case, they would have no control, absolutely none, over their own bodies and healthcare. We would start vaccine mandates again. For sure.
— biological men should be allowed to play in women’s sports. Full stop. No argument. Arguments that are true like males have a physical advantage over females in most athletics, Title IX is a piece of legislation intended to give women and girls equal opportunities in education which would be obliterated by allowing biological men into women’s sports, women are losing scholarships and sports titles to biological males, and women are being physically injured by stronger biological males in their sports — these are just transphobic. Just because only about a quarter of the US population poll are actually in favor of biological males in women’s sports — this does not change our view. F women. Except the men who identify as women. That’s our view, but don’t say that aloud.
— We are “Social justice warriors” — sounds great when you say it. Doesn’t matter if it really means we are unreasonable, sanctimonious and biased, with wacky leftist views very few people actually want imposed on their lives. And yes, we are okay with using bullying tactics or increased use of violence and threats of violence to silence our political opponents. Jailing political opponents — or using lawfare against them — that’s ok, too. And don’t worry that we are often more concerned with outward displays of virtuous opinions than with actual acts of compassion and charity. As long as people don’t look too closely at our actions and focus on the amazing words — “We are Social Justice Warriors” — we are good.
— my favorite — let’s tax the hell out of everyone!! The government knows how to spend your money better than you! This is a key component of my campaign. And it should be explained with lots of joy.
Oh… I could go on and on. I’m just writing down a few of my favorites to reminisce about later.
Maybe I like camping after all. Camp Kamala!
We good.