I have been in the bus only a few minutes and I am really regretting agreeing to this.
I don’t have kids. I do have incredible step-children — one of which was recently named most beautiful girl in the world on the internet (my mirror still says I’m the fairest of them all, so…) — and the other is the other one.
Anyway. I can imagine the torture it must be if you have a kid and they get a loud toy, or they scratch their little fucking fingers on a chalkboard… or are just like annoyingly annoying. I can imagine it very easily because I’m currently stuck on a torture bus with a toddler named Tim.
Ok, so he’s 60. He acts like a fucking toddler. All bouncing around, irritating voice, full of energy — irritatingly irritating, like an irritating person. He’s just…. for lack of a better word… irritating. He’s bouncing around on this bus like at any minute he may fuck the couch.
And. My staff, consultants, Obama, the “contain and control group” around me… it’s unbelievably awful. I can’t even go on an interview without Tim, the piece of annoying, irritating shit. Like what do they expect him to do — hold my hand?
I’m going to be the leader of the fucking free world. And… I CANNOT SIT DOWN for an unscripted interview in the 38 (or 39, who’s counting) days since Sleepy Joe stepped aside??! And the FIRST interview I am ALLOWED to do in 39 days and first one after becoming the official Democratic nominee by securing enough delegates 28 days ago (but who’s counting!) has to be with —— Tim!?
Well, it’s not unscripted anyway, we gave them the questions. I have the answers. The hardest thing about it will be stopping myself from picking up any sharp object and stabbing Timmy with it.
Snakes – why did it have to be snakes…?? Makes sense if you take out “snakes” and replace with “Walz”….
And I hope there is wine somewhere in this torture chamber they call the “New Way Forward” bus of fucking joy…we’re gonna need lots of drinks.