Tax the Rich!

People are so dumb. Literally. Everyone in a tizzy that I “rolled out a new tax plan” when in reality I just said I am in favor of the plan put out by the Sleepy Joe administration. Kinda my administration too, but… it’s just, I don’t have any policies of my own. Yet. I might. But also…might not. Someone will probably eventually let me know. And, maybe let me talk. But also, maybe not.

But the plan? I’m not great at math, but $5 trillion in new taxes sounds like a lot.

Tax on unrealized gains? I don’t even know what that means, but my phone been ringing off the hook from my Silicon Valley buddies saying that one just ain’t gonna fly. It’s a pipe dream anyway.

The media is already spinning the plan — like this is “only tax on the rich” and “those making less than $400,000” won’t have more taxes… The masses of voters will see that I’m penalizing the rich people — YAY! —- and vote for me.

I overheard two secret service agents say these new taxes including large raises on corporations are going to hurt everyone, more inflation, less jobs, less investment… and when we let the Trump tax cuts expire that helped middle class and lower income people, it’s gonna be real bad for everyone.

I don’t normally listen to what they say, and generally feel like they should be seen and not heard (and definitely never look me in the eyes)… but here, I generally just don’t know. If it was up to me, I’d probably just nationalize the businesses, and grab most everyone’s money and assets…kinda Marxist of me, but who’s counting?

I’ll be the first to admit, I cast the tie-breaking vote in 2022 in favor of the enormously fantastic Inflation Reduction Act. So what if inflation rates quadrupled or octupled or whatever? The act had a great name, even if it didn’t work well. I just point my finger at the Republicans — must be their fault. That’s what we do with everything. Republicans evil. Trump equals Hitler. Maga equals terrorists. Orange man bad. Look over there, don’t look at me. Media runs with that and… we good. I don’t need policies — I have the media.

And. Coffee tastes better with vodka. Way way way better. Coffee is a drink we drink in a cup in the morning and we drink coffee in the morning as a drink and sometimes it’s a morning drink for people in the morning. And vodka — makes it better.

And, now that I’ve been told I will be taking a bus around Georgia (or the armpit of America as I like to call it) with creepy Tim next week, I’m gonna keep my flask close.

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