The word of the first night of the convention — “Bittersweet”. If you ask me, a lot more bitter than sweet. Or maybe “Grateful”. But for me, not in the oh, we are so grateful for all Joe’s done — more like grateful the “Big Guy” is on his way out.
A few takeaways:
– Barack says I smile too “big”, “be less scary when you smile” was the only comment he gave me. Thanks, Obama.
– Hillary finally whitened her teeth — if only she took the time to do that 8 years ago — she could have been the first woman President.
– The camera guys REALLY need to be fired. They have my family up on the Jumbotron while my step-daughter is yawning…. she’s young, it was only 8:30pm — everyone wasn’t THAT boring… although, admittedly it was funny when they caught a few people rolling their eyes during the “we love Joe” chant…
– Biden….. oh dear. That’s when the bitter hit full throttle. He yelled, at the top of his lungs, for 75 long, slurry, arduous minutes. All I could hear was, “hey kids, get off my lawn” — like a crotchety old man way past his time— and on the same day the report came out that he had sold access to the Presidency to the tune of something like “ka-Ching”$30 million dollars (?), lining his family’s pockets… bittersweet my fucking ass… (maybe for him, I guess, as the gravy train is coming to an end — the rest of us can’t wait for him to leave)
I did my job. I went to tell him I love him after his speech. And I added the word “honestly” after. “I love you, Joe. Honestly.” Because if I didn’t say honestly, he would think I was lying about it, I’m sure. I do lie a lot; he knows it. So I thought saying “honestly” was a nice touch. As if I was being honest. By the way, why do old people have bad breath?
I might need a little more wine to make this week tolerable.