Month: September 2020

Football is back for the Big 10. Of course the Big Orange Bad Man wasted no time in claiming another victory for his side. “It was my great honor to help.” Ugh.

Random thoughts.

In other football news … the Pittsburgh Steelers made a choice to put Antwon Rose on their helmets this season. He was involved in a drive-by shooting. I thought maybe he was the innocent victim of a drive-by and the Steelers were making a statement about senseless gun violence. But, he was actually identified by the victim as the SHOOTER in the drive-by. Unfortunately he was killed as he tried to run from the police, after committing a felony. So he’s on the helmets for the season. One player, Villanueva, covered up Rose’s name and wrote the name of Alwyn Cashe over it. Alwyn Cashe is a black military hero who lost his life while trying to save the lives of others and was posthumously given the Silver Star. How does that fit the current narrative? What was Villanueva thinking? Last year when he stood for the national anthem, he ended the season with one of the top selling jerseys in the league and then DONATED his portion to charities in cities in the AFC. Here he goes again, doing things anti the rest of the team. Makes no sense. Alwyn Cashe? He’s a total no-name. Crazy….

Minneapolis is putting up a statue of a man who stuck a gun in a woman’s belly while he and his friends robbed her. I think a man convicted of felony child cruelty and domestic abuse is getting his own special day in Atlanta. The NBA boycotted games to support an alleged rapist. The Saints wore his name on their helmets. I would think the NFL has enough alleged rapist’s names on the back of their jerseys across the NFL that they could probably pick someone else or something else. But what do I know? At least the #metoo movement seems to be officially over.

And a side note… we had to seriously reprimand one of my speech writers yesterday. I can read a teleprompter. When the teleprompter says “Harris-Biden” administration, that’s what I say. It’s bad enough that that is what my staff says constantly behind the scenes like I’m not even a factor – but then to “accidentally” write it that way in a speech… that has to be a no no. And the same day, Harris calls it “her administration” —- is there something they know that I don’t?

Come on, man.

It takes courage to gain peace. We move forward in prosperity and solidarity amongst nations regardless of religion, sect, background, race. Blah blah blah. That’s going on at the White House. The Israel – Arab Peace Deal signing at the White House.

Absolutely beautifully done ceremony. Everyone thanking Trump. I’m sure we can get the media to downplay it like it’s really not a big deal. These people weren’t in conflict. Who cares that you have Arabs signing peace deals in Hebrew and Netanyahu signing deals in Arabic. And everyone holding hands and singing Kumbaya together. Moments of solidarity and commitment to working together and normalization – it’s not history making. At least we can spin the media to say that. “It’s the equivalence of Trump slapping his name on a hotel that was already built.” You know, all these leaders thanking Trump for brokering the landmark deal – don’t believe your own eyes and ears. Believe the media spin.

Me? I’m in Florida. It takes a lot of courage to come out of the basement, but we are nervous about Florida.

In Tampa – I’m meeting with Veterans and trying some spin of my own. Trying to make voters and military families believe that Veterans love me. Never mind that during the Obama-Biden administration the VA Healthcare system was like a death sentence for our veterans and we did nothing to improve it. Secret wait lists, 23 page forms, toxic work cultures, woefully inadequate care, enormous waste.

Never mind that Bobby Henline, an Army vet, has been slamming my campaign for using his likeness in my negative ads and asked to be removed from our disgusting ads. His words not mine. He is speaking out about my campaign using him as a “prop” like we always do. And says, of my campaign in general, “If you don’t have the power to win on your own merits, that you have to tear down your opponent, there is a problem there.”

But that’s our deal. Our platform is “orange man is bad.” Besides that, we have some promises of stuff we will work on that I didn’t for 50 years or things we will do that Trump has already done.

Oh, and I’ll be meeting with the leaders of the Hispanics. I’m going to work like the devil for their vote. It’s Hispanic Heritage Month and Kissimmee, Florida is the place to be at almost 60 percent Hispanic – mostly Puerto Ricans. Bloomberg just announced plans to spend $100 million in Florida for my campaign. So, I’m sure that will be good enough. I don’t have to eat tacos and say “Hola” or anything. But we found a few props. One of them, over the phone as we laid out our plans and set up their attendance, kept using some slang Puerto Rican that sounded like, “Embusteria” under his breath. I think that meant he’s excited and I’m some kind of badass.

Florida! Veterans love Joe! Hispanics love Joe!

Come on, man.

Just some random thoughts recapping some of the bigger moments of last week.

Not that there were any earth-shattering large moments. The most exciting thing about my campaign in past few weeks was the boots Dr. Jill wore when we went to vote in Delaware this morning.

But besides that, I’m in hot water for a tweet about gun violence after two police officers were shot in an ambush in Compton without any words showing care for the officers or a rebuke of the cowardly, criminal act. So, after some of my supporters showed up at hospital yelling “we hope they die”… one of my staff members finally sent out a tweet that showed some basic support saying Jill and I will keep the officers in our hearts and prayers. Seems sufficient.

Trump is defying orders and having giant rallies in Nevada. My team can’t figure out how to get me out of the debates. I actually went on record saying Trump’s USMCA is better than me and Barack’s NAFTA.

What else? Peaceful protests are still being hijacked by violent criminals. There is a poll saying the Blacks and Hispanics are moving towards Trump, and most polls are showing the race is tightening.

Comma La has been almost non-existent in the news. She’s having a fundraiser tonight with Hillary so hopefully she will bring in some cash there.

The NFL ratings drop double digits over last year.

I have a very important Climate Change speech today.

I am worried about the fires in California, Oregon, and Washington. Millions of Americans living in the shadow of an Orange Sky. The worst is the nagging memory of a psychic I spoke to months ago that said if I saw an orange sky, Trump would be re-elected. So, now what?

My speech today, from Delaware so I don’t have to strain myself and travel far…. is something like …. well, I think we are trying to convince the public that the fires were started by Trump. And probably the hurricanes. Here’s the deal. Hurricanes are only hitting blue states. But this is because of denial of climate change. Fossil fuels are for losers. This is a crisis. The west is literally on fire because they didn’t vote for Trump. It’s disdain for blue states. The suburbs are being blown away by a climate arsonist called Donald the Orange meanie. This is urgent. We need to get me in the White House so I can destroy the suburbs myself through government and presidential decrees. I only think modern jobs. Unions. Changing climate is broken windmills causing cancer. Lights make Trump look orange. We need to have more ambitious lightbulbs. Something like that. Through me, we can lead the world and send USA dollars to other countries to solve climate change. With ambition. Let’s get to work with black colleges and scientists. Clean electric. More taxes. Maybe $4 billion in more tax for everyone, but a big burden on the middle class, but I think we won’t mention that. We will sustain communities and decrease the wage gap, not like when Barack and I were in office and that gap increased. Something like that. Let’s do it together. Don’t deny reality. No questions allowed from the press. I’d have to be crazy to try that again.

Gotta go… these aren’t pie in the sky dreams. I’m the only one that can fix the problems. I’ve been in office for 47 years without fixing problems so, I’m due for something good to happen. My time is now.

Come on, man.

Never forget.

That’s all for a day like today.

Never forget and God Bless America.

I haven’t written anything in a few days … but it’s exhausting to go places and speak a few minutes, so I just haven’t.

But I’m excited about the NFL starting. And I hear there is going to be a lot of BLACK LIVES MATTER messaging and activism so I will tune in.

Some folks think sports are for fun and enjoyment and may decide to stay away because they watch sports “to get away from it all” and just to enjoy. They may look to sports as a unifying and enjoyable time with friends and family and would prefer not to have politics and activism muddy it.

And for fans who follow the sport over the years they might remember:

In 2013, the NFL fined Brandon Marshall for wearing green cleats to raise awareness for people with mental health disorders during mental health awareness week. He himself has mental health struggles and wanted to bring more awareness to the issue and start some conversations about it.

In 2014, Robert Griffin III (RG3) entered a post-game press conference wearing a shirt that said “Know Jesus Know Peace” but turned it inside out to avoid what he knew would be a fine (after already being fined twice for non-approved clothing) before speaking at the podium.

Cam Heyward was fined twice for writing his father’s name in eye black as a tribute to his father’s losing battle with cancer.

In 2015, DeAngelo Williams was fined for wearing “Find the Cure” eye black for breast cancer awareness. They also denied his request to wear pink all season. He lost his mom to breast cancer in 2014.

In 2015, William Gay was fined for wearing purple cleats to raise awareness for domestic violence. (Not that the NFL has a domestic violence problem…). His mother was killed in an act of domestic violence.

In 2016, the NFL prevented the Dallas Cowboys from wearing a decal on their helmet in honor of 5 Dallas Police officers killed in the line of duty. Because of their strict rules. These police officers were ambushed while protecting demonstrators.

In 2016, the NFL threatened to fine players who wanted to wear cleats to commemorate the 15th anniversary of 9/11. Ultimately, because of extreme fury from fans, after threatening players, they begrudgingly announced they wouldn’t levy the fines.

The NFL has a history of enforcing rules that punish individuality – and individual messages … from colorful socks or armbands or decals or eye black messages….

Social causes such as mental health, cancer, domestic violence, for ambushed police, or for the Memory of 9/11… The NFL has been punitive. Or threatening. There is a long list of examples.

But. I forgot where I was going with this. Is football really soccer in Europe? You know the thing they say, the average NFL salary is only $2.7 million. And the fans want MORE politics in their daily lives. There isn’t enough. So, I’m sure any demonstrations or political or social messages of any kind will be welcome and increase the viewers. It worked for the NBA. Well, their viewers have declined almost 50 percent, but that’s because people are listening to their record players more I think.

I need to find my lucky jersey and get ready for some football! Go Redskins! Where’s Hunter?

Come on, man.

Both sides have been wooing the “Suburban Moms” this election season. It’s an important voting block that was generally with the GOP then swung very blue in 2016 and 2018. It was made abundantly clear to pollsters that these women basically just DON’T LIKE Trump. But, by and large they are registered and likely voters. And worth wooing.

Now, in focus group and polls, these moms seem more willing to vote for Trump in 2020 because they believe he is the best chance to keep the suburbs safe. He is being supported by police across the country. And by and large, these women believe that most police are good and serve an invaluable role in our society and their communities. And that the current vicious attacks on the police are intolerable. And that the “mostly peaceful protests” have become too non-peaceful for their liking.

Sometimes Dr. Jill is a good barometer for me on what issues are important to this voting block. She’s a mom. She’s a teacher. I believe she is a suburban mom through and through. So I asked her what she thought of the protests.

She basically answered that the peaceful protests for equality were great but now…. there has just been so much…. violence, lawlessness, destruction…. Devastation. She was worried that the original intent of protesting for equity had been drowned out by the devastation and that the message was lost now.

But, I said, “the protests – they are mostly peaceful.”

She said, “Yes, of course. It’s hard to explain.”

Looking down, she noticed I needed more coffee. “Before I explain, I’ll grab you another cup of coffee.”

She got up and went to the kitchen and quickly brought back a steaming hot cup of coffee. “Here you go, dear, now let me explain.”

I started to put the coffee to my lips.

“Before you drink that, Joe, I want to let you know it’s mostly coffee. There is also bleach and rat poison, but such a small amount. It’s mostly coffee.”

She looked at me very directly. She was focused intently on the coffee in my hands. And my face.

“What’s wrong, Joe? I thought you wanted more coffee. I brought you coffee. Drink it,” she said to me.

“What!?” I exclaimed. “Why would I want to drink bleach and rat poison!? Are you crazy?!”

“But, Joe, don’t you see? It’s mostly coffee.”

She continued by rambling about having common sense and not falling for the BS the media was dishing out – because she has two eyes and a brain. And largely, by my continued and overwhelming silence and Kamala’s and my campaign’s support of those arrested for breaking the law, even directly by paying for bail for these miscreants — that I have placed the moms in the position that they will hold their nose and vote for that awful bad orange man in office.

I’m still trying to decode her point with all of this. What was it? That I should get my own coffee from now on?

Come on, man.

It was a strange week. Just want to jot down a few of the stranger things that happened so that I can look back on them later.

1. Main talking point – my main talking point for the week was that Democratic led violence and rioting in Democratic run cities is …. Trump’s fault. Of course….
   
2. Kenosha – it was a good visit. Met with a ton of people – teachers, church people, etc. and I talked to Jacob Blake’s family.
   Jacob’s mother was hopeful and spoke from her heart. She seemed to be guided by love. She is an inspirational speaker. My heart went out to her. As a father. And as the future Consoler in Chief. Maybe we can get her to speak at the Democratic National Convention, whenever that is. I think it’s coming up soon.
   I do struggle to hear people when they have masks on. But I could have sworn that Jacob Blake’s dad called one of my black secret service members a “coon” and asked one of my staffers if she was one of those “pink toed Jews that try to control everything, even people’s minds” which seemed odd. I probably misheard it. Certainly. I don’t think my team would have me meet with a racist anti-Semite. That doesn’t seem right. Well, except maybe Democrat Al Sharpton. And some of the Bernie Sanders staff. And Omar, Talib, and AOC. Maybe anti-semitism is ok now? I just can’t keep up with our ever changing platform…
3. Cuomo says if Donald Trump wants to come to New York, he better bring an Army… does he think that makes him look good? A duly elected President wouldn’t be safe in his state? Well, if you think about it, crime is so incredibly high now with him in charge – almost anyone needs an army around them to be safe in Cuomo’s American City of NYC. Someone needs to get him the new talking points that we are about Law and Order and Safety. Come on.
4. Jobs – Really bad news. 1.4 million jobs added in August. Just horrific news. Anything good for the economy and for the American worker is bad for my campaign. Is there a way we can get another new pandemic going to shut stuff down again quickly? That would be great. My team has me going to Pennsylvania on Labor Day to talk to Labor Unions and talk about jobs. Just would have been better if Trump’s economy wasn’t breaking records in past few month – during a continued pandemic. How can I be this unlucky? All just so strange.
   

Come to think about it. There are a lot of strange things going on. I could keep going. But, I think I’m overdue for my nap.

Come on, man.

My team keeps talking about the fact that general violence and crime issues are showing up in the polling. Concerns about the crime in America now is the number one issue for voters – above Coronavirus even.

So after a week of the DNC where we said nothing about the violence in the streets, and after 100s of days of violence, looting, riots and other devastation, I’m out and about and talking about violence and blaming it 100 percent on Trump. Not because I actually care, but because of the focus groups that said we should show concern. And the polls.

Of course Trump is to blame. Never mind that almost all failing cities are run by Democrats. Don’t pay attention to the fact that 42 of the worst 43 cities for crime in America are Democratic cities in Democratic led and run areas.

I’m the savior. I will be the President that will turn things around and help the forgotten man. That’s my line. Never mind that I’ve been in politics for 100 years and have yet to do anything for the Little Guy. Give me the power, I’ll fix it all. I am all about the Little Guy!

Never mind that in city after city where Democrats already have been in charge politically for an extended period of time, we find exceedingly high—indeed, often colossal—levels of crime and poverty that degrade the quality of life for the people who reside there. And the longer Democrats have dominated the politics of those cities, the worse the conditions tend to be. Democrats have transformed a host of once-great metropolises into urban prisons where the “little guy”—particularly the black and Hispanic “little guy” on whose behalf Democrats typically claim to speak—has been grievously harmed by one destructive Democratic policy after another.

It will all be different once the Orange Bad Guy is out of the White House. Don’t vote on the record of the Democrats. Just trust me. When I’m President, it will all be miraculously different.

Come on, man.

I find myself asking questions over and over again, and I hate it. So I’m not going to ask the team what we are doing today. Again.

I can’t really remember, but I think we are visiting with a family whose son is another victim of the #metoo movement. Some guy who was alleged to have criminally sexually assaulted a woman. Or maybe a child. I am not quite sure but I know the feeling exactly. Tara.

And then something went off the rails and now he’s paralyzed. Gonna be a sad day. I know I’ll get reminded of what to say on the plane, in the car, and again right before getting out of the car. It’s ok not to know everything. I have a strong team. I’m in good hands.

I did see some pictures of Kenosha that are burned into my memory. This poor guy, Jacob, yes, I remember. His life was ruined. The girls’ life, if we believe her, was ruined. And, in turn, lawlessness brought hundreds of millions of damage, ruined many more lives, and it honestly looks like a war zone.

Well. Easy to take grief and get some political points.

Follow-up to my Fancy Nancy diary entry yesterday. She’s not the nitwit Trump thinks she is. She played that off beautifully. “She was set up”. The speaker of the house, set up by a hairdresser. California hair salons have been closed by Democrats since March. She “thought they weren’t” and got set up. That’s brilliant. Will go over perfectly with voters. The third in line to the Presidency. Set up by a hairdresser who can’t open her salon and can’t feed her family – because of people like Pelosi. There aren’t enough small businesses in that same position. People will side with Pelosi. Voters will buy that. It’s just brilliant. Impressive. No wonder she is so popular.

Come on, man.

An old adage in politics is “When you are reacting, you are losing.”

But that just can’t be true. Trump went to Kenosha Tuesday. I’m going tomorrow.

Trump and his team have laid out their plans for vaccines and reopening schools. I have my plan which I’m presenting today… which is basically the same plan as Trump’s. Stuff that he has already done or has already planned. And I am presenting mine after his. But in slightly different words.

I’ve had a lot of practice at plagiarism and so maybe no one will notice or even think it’s weird that the plan is pretty much the same. Except for the mandatory mask mandate. That’s all mine.

Poor Nitwit Nancy. Or is it Fancy Nancy, now? Caught without a mask, indoors, at a hair salon in San Francisco that couldn’t be open legally for hair appointments. But, it’s just another time where we, the Democratic Elite will say, “do as I say, not as I do. The rules are only for the others.”

Like the Democratic mayor of Philly eating inside at a restaurant in Maryland but telling his own city that they cannot eat indoors.

Or, Democratic Mayor Lori Lightfoot who got her hair cut when she said no one else could. Or who did nothing to protect her city from the “peaceful protests” that burned and rioted and resulted in mass destruction of many beautiful Chicago neighborhoods. Did nothing. Oh wait, she did ban protests on her own street where her house was. For her own protection. Everyone else – “let them eat cake”?

We can hold funerals, mass gatherings, don’t need to comply on any mandatory quarantines, can be paid 100 percent of our salaries, can vote our own raises, have our own special Health Insurance so we are never really worried about healthcare….

And we can use shame. “Shame on you for not complying with the rules” or “Shame on you for complaining about the rules” or I should say, our rules for you… while we completely ignore them in our own lives.

Well, not me. I wear my mask. Pretty much all the time. And I’m winning. Comma La and I raised $300 million in August. I’m not sure how much Trump and the GOP raised. I know they raised more than us during their convention week. But, their convention was great so…

$300 million is a record. No way they got that much. Right? I’m definitely winning. Not even sure if I need to leave the basement much. I am winning. Just ask me.

Come on, man.