Month: August 2020

I woke up a little shaken from a dream. In the dream and it was dark, things looked burned and destroyed. I was desperately looking for something, but I’m not sure what. I had an overwhelming feeling that I need to find something I had lost. Hunter? My soul? Not sure. But I woke up very disconcerted.

Last week was big week of studying. I needed to learn some very distinct lines to use as I emerge from the basement. As I travel around, my team informs me that any upcoming visits will be highly scripted and not involve press conferences if they can avoid it. They stress that I need to stay on script – NO talking except the talking points and scripts I’ve been working on.

OK.

We are going to Pittsburgh for a trial today. I am going to look dapper in my suit. I will flash my smile. And say:

Lock down the country. Close all schools. Mandate masks everywhere.

My pandemic response talking points. Trump says open, I say close. Trump says open the schools, I say close. It is what it is.

But in my heart, I just don’t know if that is the right call. I’ll do it. I’ll say it. But, I have a nagging fear, a nagging warning in the back of my brain.

What about the Children? That’s a hard one. 12 million kids are fed at school. Only 90 kids have died from Coronavirus but more than a 1000 have died from neglect or abuse since the shut downs. In an average year, 4 million referrals of neglect and child abuse come to state agencies. The groups most often likely to see and save children from child abuse are the teachers and school administrators. But, the shut downs have left the most vulnerable locked up with the people most likely to be the abusers. 80 percent of abuse is from family or caretakers – who are now locked with the children in their homes. An alarming number of children are showing up to hospitals severely injured and a large number are dying once they make it to the hospital. There is a reported uptick in severe and fatal abuse.

The CDC says open schools. The prestigious National Academies of Science, Engineering and Medicine put together a scientific panel who concluded that schools should open. Fauci says we should open schools for the psychological and physical wellness of the children. The American Academy of Pediatrics says we should reopen schools for children. Bill Gates says schools should reopen. Polls In the last few months that ask parents if schools should open have gotten as high as 87 percent who say yes, of course.

I have said many times, I will follow the science. But, what if Trump is actually following the science by saying, “Open the Schools”? Then, I have to find my own scientists to say close them. Because I have to go against whatever bad Orange Man says. Even if he may be right. After all, we have an election to win.

Main talking points: Orange Man bad, COVID-19 bad, Orange Man killed people with his response to the COVID-19 Trump China Flu, America flawed and bad. Violence not the answer, but it’s all Trump’s fault. I got it! Ready to go….

Come on, man.

The Democrats have generally loved Whistle Blowers. More so when they have dirt to spill on Trump or the Trump administration. Whistle blowers have been the impetus for our attempts to take down Trump a few times. Failures, but we tried.

But the current Democratic Strategist whistle blower describing the many ways that he and a large group of operatives participated in fraud during elections? This is bad. He describes in detail: destruction of ballots, faking ballots, stealing envelopes for fake ballots, misleading elderly to gain ballots, and paying people to vote in person by impersonating particular voters in different districts that do not require IDs.

I know we can stop the mainstream media from reporting on this guy. But, if this gets picked up by the evil known as Fox News or comes out some other way, we are dead.

Speaking of dead. That has been a reported problem, amongst others. The dead voters… the over 43,000 people in Pennsylvania that are reported to be double registered in other counties or states allowing them to double vote, the illegal voters that have been actually found in Virginia and Pennsylvania (they won’t look in CA or they would find there, too), made up names in Indiana, thousands of ballots in trash cans or sitting in apartment commons areas or pinned to bulletin boards for anyone to grab, vote harvesting fraud, the people recently arrested in New Jersey for voter fraud…. we can stop the regular news outlets from reporting these. They get their talking points from the Democratic Party, from my team. But…. there is the internet and Fox, unfortunately.

What will happen to this new Whistle Blower? Another opportunity to get the Clintons involved to shut the guy up might be a good strategy?

Or, could this help me in the end? Cause more chaos in the election so we can get our attorneys fanned out across the country to fight legal votes in swing districts and states?

Time will tell. It amazes me that it’s 2020 and we can’t have a secure election. But, then again, a secure election would likely not be good for the Democratic ticket so…. I’ll keep quiet, stay in the basement, and keep the Democratic party line intact. “What are you talking about? There is no proof of voter fraud, it’s all a myth. America is flawed and evil but our elections are perfect.” Sounds about right.

Come on, man.

At this point I have to think the protestors are being paid by the Republicans.

First off, Fox News exists. We can’t seem to get rid of it or infiltrate it with enough liberal elites to change it much. A record 9.2 million viewers tuned into Fox to watch the bad Orange Man’s acceptance speech. That is more than every other network combined. The average viewership for day four of the RNC on Fox News was the highest average prime time viewership of ANY Political Party Convention in the history of cable. In the history of the Earth.

The millennials on my campaign are sulking. Rumor has it, Trump campaign had a large balloon or shit ton of donations come in on August 27th, too. Small donations, the grass root type of donations that are a wet dream for my team. Orange Man got those. Well, rumor has it.

And, supposedly those small, first time donations are still rolling in. 2 days later. Why?

Well, my team thinks it’s for a few reasons:
1. No one actually watched the full 70 billion minutes of Trump’s speech.

2. No one was awake when the crowd filed out and were summarily threatened and harassed by the liberal crowd outside. No one saw that. It was midnight.

3. However, the news clips over the past few days – those have been powerful. The juxtaposition of the flags and Trump standing tall, beautiful fireworks…. versus the angry, ugly liberal mob attacking women on the street – it’s a powerful message. A picture is worth a thousand words. Well, apparently videos of this type of attack on women in the streets is worth a thousand donations. And, these clips keep getting replayed. Damn it, Fox News, the enemy of the state.

4. Rand Paul. I know that is dumb. Who cares about Rand Paul? Who has ever cared about Rand. Well, anyone paying attention knows that he introduced the “Justice for Breonna Taylor Act” to stop the type of no knock warrant that led to her death. He worked across the aisle to make her name known in the Senate. He sat with her family and criminal justice reform groups to come up with this Act. And, as he left the White House Thursday, amid calls to rape and brutally torture his wife, torture and maim him, kill him and his wife, a few protesters yelled the familiar “say her name.” Hey idiots. No one has said her name more in the halls of Congress than Rand Paul. He is an ally. Anyone with a brain even slightly larger than a retarded shrimp would know that. Come on, folks.

We thought the protests would HELP bring excitement to the Democratic Party. Hey, look at all these people calling for change. Hope and Change got Obama elected. However, marching for Change doesn’t seem to have the same effect as looting for change, burning down stuff for change, attacking women on the street for change…. And, there is no Hope message to go along with it.

There is only so long people will believe what we TELL them is happening. CNN anchors standing in front of burning buildings at a “peaceful protest” is going to fly for a while. But, there is a point where “the truth is what we are telling you, NOT what you can see with your own eyes” no longer works. People wake up.

Is it possible we peaked too early? Played the chaos card too soon? No way. I know we didn’t get any measurable bump from the DNC Convention but I’ll be on the road in 10 days or so, that will surely get a lot of excitement going for the Democratic ticket. I know you don’t see any Biden shirts, hats, or signs anywhere. But me leaving my basement is going to be a game changer. In a few weeks, when the time is right, I will emerge from my basement like I’m answering the Bat Call. And, black mask and all, will heroically lead this group of rag tag, liberal, democratic socialists and semi-communists all the way to the White House! Right!? I know it.

Now where did Jill go? I need her to cut up my waffle and open this jar of syrup for me.

Come on, man.

It’s not fair. They got to see our convention first. So they could make theirs better. Almost compelling.

I was, and am, fit to be tied. Comma La gave my planned prebuttle of Trump’s acceptance speech. I just couldn’t. My speech last week – shortest of any acceptance speech and Trump? — his was the longest ever at 70 minutes.

Nervous Nancy says I shouldn’t debate. On TV. Twice yesterday.

Trump’s speech was in front of a live audience. Standing ovation. No masks. They figured out you can test and put people without Covid-19 together without masks. I wore a mask on stage, outdoors, 50 feet away from anyone, standing next to my wife.

And their fireworks? They said “Trump” – actually pretty cool.

Well. Now everyone on my team has concerned looks on their faces. And I announced I’ll go out and campaign. In the battleground states only. I should have said:

“I’ll govern for the far left on the coasts, but I’ll pander to you in the middle for your votes”

But I actually said nothing. After bungling a written statement about Kellyann in a short interview yesterday, I took the afternoon off. Comma La and my team took over.

I don’t drink, but I could have used one yesterday. Today is another day.

Come on, man.

I really feel sorry for whoever is on the Democratic ticket in 2024. The Nikki Haley-Dan Crenshaw Republican ticket is going to be pretty hard to beat.

Dan Crenshaw. Navy Seal badass Congressman from the great state of Texas. Famously went on SNL with Pete Davidson. Looks like a villain from James Bond movie. Speaks like a President. Or VP.

The ticket for Dems in 2024. Big surprise, I won’t be on it. Even if I win in 2020. Maybe Hillary again!? She would only be 77, her pantsuits never go out of style. No one tired of tuning in to see her.

Dan Crenshaw. Someone said this morning that more people watched his speech than mine. I’m calling bullshit.

Yesterday, I came out against the shooting of Jacob Blake, a man with an incredible domestic violence record, with a warrant out for his arrest for rape, who police tried to take down first with a stun gun, then by physically tackling him. Then, with weapons drawn and asking him to stand still, he walked to his car to reach for something. A gun? A knife? He took 4 bullets in the back. He didn’t need to be shot. Horrific situation. But, what to do? The police tried without shooting. What if that thing he reaches for ends their path home that night? Are we at a place where criminals don’t listen to the police, don’t stop, fight with them…. And reach for something once the police have their weapons drawn? And then, surprisingly, they are shot…. And then every business within 10 miles is burned to the ground? Because a rapist (alleged) got shot after resisting arrest….

I was a little upset that my campaign team made me record a statement. They could have put out a written statement. But they pushed for a recorded statement. “Proof of life,” they said. 13 takes in, we got one good enough to release. Felt like it took half the day. For a one minute statement. A day I was supposed to have off!

In the statement, I also spoke against the violence occurring in these protests. Immediately this statement was slammed on that Twitter thing. 100 days too late, Joe. What?

Well, the NBA, WNBA (what’s that?) and a bunch of athletes went on strike in support of Jacob Blake last night, too. Maybe tonight they will strike in support of his rape victim? The athletes have a lot to say. Making sports political should help solve everything. Sure, the NBA ratings are down. But people are super busy and have a lot to do right now. It is not like people are mostly locked in their homes. Someone said doing puzzles has become more popular than the NBA. I think that’s a joke. More popular than the WNBA? That seems true.

They are also probably hard at work on a video telling kids to respect the police and showing what TO DO and what NOT to do in an arrest situation. That seems like it would actually be critical in today’s environment and help to prevent situations like this.

Trump‘s speech is tonight. I have my “counter programming” event to talk about my plans to combat the Trump China Flu. I’m sure more people will be more interested in my National Mask Mandate than tuning into the Trump speech. Looking forward to seeing the ratings tomorrow!

Come on, man.

Day 2 can be wrapped up with one word: Melania.

Amazing. Breathtaking. Inspirational. 

Her speech: Remember that USA is an incredible country full of people that love each other and help each other. Be civil.

And Be Best. Her campaign. Aimed at helping kids. It focuses on some of the major challenges facing our children today and encourages our children to pick their best individual path. It’s goal is to teach children the importance of social, mental, and physical health. Pretty cool stuff from a pretty lady. 

Last week, Dr. Jill was perfect and looked stunning in her green dress. Last night, Melania was a pretty close second. Hey, they both wore green. Great minds think alike? 

That got me thinking. Be Best – that is Melania’s thing — but, what’s Dr. Jill’s thing? Pro military? Yes. Cool. Pro Breasts? Really cool. No wait, pro breast cancer … well, no… ANTI breast cancer, but whatever. That’s really great, folks.

She’s also pro Teachers’ Unions and is a Teacher and Union Member. I’ve bowed down to the Teachers’ Union myself. 

I’m probably old and out of touch, but at one time I thought schools were a place to focus on educating our children. Aren’t schools supposed to be about the kids? Do what is best for the kids? Kid-centric?

Put simply – the point of schools is to educate children, NOT to provide a job and policy platform for adults. Right?

But look at California. The Teacher Union in CA made demands that must be met before they would teach the kids this year. 

What were the demands? Were they something like… we must keep kids safe and continue teaching them because we know they need it? Or … we cannot continue online because it negatively affects the poor and disadvantaged kids in our communities the worst?

Nope. 

Their demands included the following: implementing a moratorium on private schools, defunding the police, increasing taxes on the wealthy, implementing Medicare for all…. and more…

And Jill and I are in bed with them?! The Teachers’ Union love me and I love them?! Dr. Jill says I’m a moderate. These kooks sound left of Comrade Bernie. 

I think I’m befuddled here. And feeling lucky that we have an uninformed (and easily manipulated by the media) electorate. We are counting on that. With situations like this, we need the electorate to stay ignorant.

In conclusion. Melania was awesome.

Come on, man. 

The RNC Convention Day 1 was “socialism is bad, Biden bad, we are all white, if Biden is elected the streets will be flooded by crime, Lord help us….” – at least if you listen to MSDNC or CNN.

My team broke it down quickly – on what someone watching might see. Honestly, the RNC did a pretty good job – Trump is a friend, compassionate, fighting for America against the bad guys at the UN, dedicated to putting Americans first, hard-working, interested in saving Healthcare, worries about child safety, a no nonsense roll up your sleeves and get shit done kind of guy. And God Bless America, land of the free, of prosperity, of opportunities for all. And then also a ton of bad shit about me and our socialist agenda.

Hershel Walker was definitely one of the highlights, they said. Line of the night? Can’t remember exactly but something like … I’ve been friends with Trump for 37 years. He is not a racist.

Well, no one watched that. People watch the news and the news says all the people who spoke are full of malarkey, folks. So we are all good. Unless they watch Fox News. Most news viewers (or readers) only hear (read), “what a dark, dark, dark night.”

They had Hershel Walker? A three time All-American football player. Winner of the Heisman. Inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame. Blah blah blah.

Well, we had Donna Hylton.

Hylton and her friends starved, burned, beat, sexually assaulted, and raped a gay businessman. It was a brutal hate crime of epic proportions.

We called Hylton one of “America’s most impactful community leaders.” I called her “an impactful community leader.” This woman. Who laughed while she LITERALLY did unspeakable things to this gay man.

No one remembers the past. Voters are pretty dumb. I’m sure it’s fine. No one is paying attention. And the media loves me, loves us, we can do no wrong. Orange Man Bad. Right?

Come on, man.

Thank goodness for the amazing leadership of the Democratic Party who rushed to Washington to vote on an EMERGENCY aid bill to give the USPS $25 billion.

I’m so proud of Nervous Nancy. The post office had plenty of money and cash on hand to run through November 2021. They were financially sound. What was the EMERGENCY? Well, we needed optics that said “Orange Man Bad.” And this was the best we could muster this week after already expending all the convention saying he was racist and lazy and fat and dumb and incompetent and in bed with dictators and wasn’t nice.

“The post office will run out of funds in FIFTEEN MONTHS!! And TRUMP DOESN’T CARE!”

They had enough staffing to handle mail in votes. All was good, but spin the message that TRUMP and PUTIN are undermining the system – DEMS come to the rescue and SAVE!! YAY! That’s what politics are all about. Nancy is masterful.

What’s the deal with mail in voting? The problems of the recent elections with mail in votes held over the past few months had NOTHING to do with Trump or the Postal Sevice. Over half a million votes were thrown out for other reasons. Hmmm.

In 2016 there were super small margins in the states I need to win:

Michigan – 10,000 votes meant victory for Trump,

New Hampshire – 3000 vote margin?

Florida – 100k votes?

Pennsylvania – 44k votes?

I think there were many others with NARROW margins. What’s the deal with over 500,000 votes thrown out in the small elections recently? Could that be an issue on the National Level?

I did mention that on a Zoom call today. First, I thought I would get the week off because of the RNC, but apparently not. We were in the middle of a “Zoom team building” meeting where everyone got to tell a fun fact about themselves. I wanted my fun fact to be: fun fact, I don’t care. Instead, I said “fun fact – I’m concerned about mail in voting.”

After a bunch of snorts and chuckles, I was told we have 600 lawyers in the wings ready to fight everywhere. Because, yes, there would be chaos. We are counting on it.

Huh?

“Okie Dokie” is all I responded. What was I supposed to say? All of this is very confusing. Sounds very dubious.

Come on, man.

Little harder to spy on the opposing campaign than it was in 2016 – but we finally got the list of speakers for the RNC Convention.

Day 1 – Tanya Weinreis, Andrew Pollack (Daughter killed at Stoneman Douglas HS in Florida), Donald Trump Jr., Sean Parnell (Alaska Gov), The McCloskeys (wild gun people defending home in St. Louis?), Kim Klacik (black woman running for Congress in Baltimore with one of the most watched ads in America now, not sure she’s really black as she is in the Republican Party), Charlie Kirk (smart whippersnapper), Natalie Harp (who will likely thank Trump for signing Right to Try into law), Kimberly Guilfoyle (would love to give her a long hug), Amy Johnson Ford (a teacher?), Vernon Jones (Georgia black Democrat who says he’s leaving the plantation to vote for Trump), Ronna McDaniel (RINO Romney’s niece), Nikki Haley (first SC female Gov and former Ambassador to UN), Jim Jordan (“Here are the Facts” R-Ohio), Matt Gaetz (“The most valuable real estate in the world lies between the President’s ears” R-Florida), Steve Scalise (“We’re going to try and solve problems for everyday people”, shot by a liberal activist, R-Louisiana), and Tim Scott (token black, tea-party R-South Carolina).

I can’t always see the future, but the group looks picked to say positive things about the US and Trump. Not sure that’s gonna play well.

I think our negative, negative, negativity about all things and “Orange Man Bad” message was much better. I’m sure the media will say the same. Of course they will. I have already seen the talking points for the media that were distributed by my team for use after the RNC speeches each day.

“Republicans lie, turn their back on science, misguided, bible hugging, gun loving bunch of crazies.”

Wait – I started this note trying to figure out this Tanya Weinreis filly. Apparently she, as a woman, owns a coffee place named Mountain Mud in Montana. I guess I have a female running mate as a VP, so maybe women can own businesses these days. Anyway, she was the first Montana recipient of the PPP loans and happy we (Trump?) helped her get things up and going and kept her business open and probably has a positive message about opening up the country safely.

Opening? Why? Day 1 I have said I will institute a National Mask Mandate. And a National Shut Down if a scientist I choose, in his infinite wisdom, says it might help. Regardless of if it is legal. Regardless if you live in a community where there are no cases. Masks — should be worn for any reason when you leave your house or go outside. Even IF you CAN social distance. Even while working out. Even if not feasibly enforceable.

On a subway – mask, at work – mask, driving in your car – mask, weeding in your own lawn, by yourself – mask, hiking alone on a trail in a forest – mask, surfing – mask, at a beach or park outside with your own family while 20 feet from anyone else – mask. Makes great sense to me. I would actually love if people wore masks in their own homes.

Seems like, as President, I could start telling people what they can do in their homes as well. It’s the most powerful job in the world. And, it should be me there making the decisions for the good of all. I will make awesome decisions, I have a 100 year record to back that up. And a great team led by some super progressives to help me. I will make the best decisions, for all of America.

On second thought, maybe voters shouldn’t look at my record or any of my past decisions and actions – they should just trust me. That would be better.

Come on, man.

So. Today I found out why Harvey Weinstein is unable to continue the tradition of sponsoring large Democratic fundraisers. It’s a major sex scandal. Around 90 accusers – ranging from harassment, assault, rape… pretty bad stuff, folks.

I say to Jill, “Jill – Harvey Weinstein can’t raise money for me, he is in some giant sex scandal!”

She says, “Yes, Joe, everyone knows that. He’s actually a convicted rapist.”

Wow. Ok. I did not know that.

I did a little research on my own. And I found troubling things about a few of the headline speakers at my convention:

1. Michelle Obama said this about Harvey Weinstein: “He is a wonderul human being, a good friend and just a powerhouse.” Could her judgement on character be worrisome to voters?
2. The New York Times called Hillary Clinton one of Weinstein’s enablers because she did nothing about the numerous warnings from women, reporters, magazine editors and supporters that her campaign received in 2008 and 2016 about Harvey. She just kept quiet and collected the money he gave and raised for her and other Dems. Yikes.
3. Kamala – her speech at the Democratic National Convention included the line, “I know a Predator when I see one.” Does she? She was the Attorney General in the State that Weinstein lived and where he did most of his predatory acts which were described as an “open secret.” She took money from him. She met with him one on one. If she knows a predator when she sees one… she was in a good position to do something about it. But, what did Comma La do… anything? Nope. Well, she cashed his checks.

Weinstein. What a mess and huge loss to the Dems that he was caught. And convicted.

Well, we still have Soros. Hopefully he doesn’t spend all his money funding the violence, the mobs and the rioting across the country. That’s probably costing him a pretty penny right now. Gotta be more than grassroots donations, those have been in steady decline. Nothing to worry about like lack of enthusiasm for me and Comma La, I’m sure.

Come on, man.