Month: July 2020

I’m all for handing out money, but I would definitely prefer I get the credit and not Trump. Trump’s out there talking about getting more money to people directly and how he’s in favor of giving a lot more money to people who aren’t working. Sounds very democratic.

I didn’t get a stimulus check. My government pension, paid for by tax payers, is $250k a year (not counting expenses).

The average Social Security is about $1500 a month. So, my pension is about 1240% higher than the average person my age. AND I cashed in on my position as VP after I left the White House and made $11 million in 2017 and $5 million in 2018. I’m not going to write down, even in this private diary, how much I (and my family) cashed in while I was IN OFFICE. But $250k a year for life after leaving office – from the tax payers – not bad.

Stimulus. That’s what I was talking about. In 38 states the $600 weekly stimulus check plus an unemployment check is more money for people than they made when they were working.

But…I can see why people become politicians. After leaving office, the pension for senators and congresspeople (I think that’s the politically correct way – not congressmen, certainly)… their pension is about 372% higher than the average American social security check (and some of them only serve a few years where Social Security is typically the result of a lifetime of work). Even for the Republican senators and congresspeople who donate, on average, more of their money than the Dems to charitable causes, it’s still a pretty good payout.

Lots and lots of the elected officials go to Washington DC for the money. They certainly don’t go to help the people or solve problems. We have been talking about the same problems for the last 50 years. But, I have been in politics for 50 years and some say my greatest accomplishment is just pushing for the mass incarceration of blacks… Little unfair if you ask me. I also got some Ukrainian prosecutor fired and I did some other stuff.

The approval rating of Congress is abysmally low. It’s only 1/2 of the approval rating of Trump – which is really, really, low—I think the only people giving Congresspeople good marks are congresspeople.

Stimulus. I keep losing track here of what I wanted to write about. Yes. Trump and stimulus dollars. I know I have to go anti-Trump. But passing out free money and free things to people just seems right up my alley. I can’t help but think he’s playing some big reverse psychology game on me. If I go against Trump, I’m against stimulus. That just doesn’t sound right. If I go for more Stimulus as I think I should, then I’m agreeing with Trump? I could say he only wants it because he’s following my great leadership? From my basement?

Come on, man.

I never got Dr. Jill to fix the thermostat and it’s still freezing here in the basement… colder than a well diggers ass, actually. I’ll survive… I hope.

I finally watched Trump’s speech at Mt. Rushmore. It really did not disappoint. I love America. His speech really spoke to me. I know the press have an agenda to attack him no matter what. But the complete and total attack on Mt. Rushmore from every network may have went a bit too far.

i remember when Obama went in 2008. The most used adjective for Mt. Rushmore was “majestic” on that visit. The news gushed over Obama and the historic mountain. All positive.

When Crazy Bernie went in 2016, he said something like, “This is our country at it’s very best. What an incredible achievement. Just the accomplishment and the beauty ‘ it really does make one very proud to be an American.” The press fawned on him and Mt. Rushmore.

There are other Presidents and Presidential “wanna-bes” that have visited Mt. Rushmore and were treated with unilaterally positive reporting. Slick Willie, Crooked Hillary… Bush went like 10 times – a bunch of guys went. I wish I could have. It truly is impressive and cool. And the media has had only positive things to say about each visit. Well, until now.

Now, Trump goes and it’s depicted as a white supremacy thing. The failing NY Times said the land was stolen from the Native Americans and Trump should be so ashamed. I gotta say, I’m dumb but I’m not stupid. Does The NY Times know their headquarters are sitting on land stolen from the Native Americans? Literally every inch of America is/was indigenous land. And Trump going to Mt. Rushmore is depicted as the worst thing in the world while there is not one word negative in any media of any kind surrounding the Obama visit to Mt. Rushmore or Bernie’s more recent one? Could the media have gone a bit too far and now, if there was ANY doubt left that they were objective – that is now pretty much out the window?!

I know, I gotta hate the Orange guy. And I do. It’s just …. I don’t hate America. And, my team made me put out the most anti-America message on the 4th of July EVER by any president or candidate for the presidency – at least according to Newt Gingrich.
It doesn’t seem fair. And, to add insult to injury – I had to record the address in my basement!!!?

Come on, man.

Trump was in some Dakota yesterday and he’s there today for the July 4th holiday. Last night he gave a speech that Devin Nunes says was the key speech of his presidency. I didn’t watch it. All the news outlets said it was dark and divisive. Well, except the F word news channel that had Nunes and one good looking Marine who said they loved it. Weird how the F word channel just doesn’t get it. You’re the media. You attack conservatives – you hate Trump – didn’t they get the memo?

Busy week where I did a few interviews of a few minutes each. I had all the questions ahead of time and practiced my answers. It did sound like I got my own name wrong in one, but otherwise, did pretty well.

I also spent countless hours trying to record my 4th of July address/statement. My team said I would be better recording all my comments whenever possible so I can get the words out and sound relatively connected to them. It takes practice, but after some creative editing, we got a good piece to present. Little “radical” for my taste, but that seems to be all the rage so I guess it’s ok. I asked them to delete the part where they showed protestors burning the American flag. Seemed a little off-pudding for a July 4th address, but what do I know?

The beaches are all closed again everywhere. Just to torture people I think. Seems like a safe place – outside, warm weather… easy to social distance. But, again, what do I know? Why are they closed?

I did seem to upset my team when I asked them that question. So, I held off on the other questions I have like:

Should Cuomo be criminally prosecuted for killing the elderly in NY by mandating that nursing homes take Covid positive patients?

Why were we giving free coffee and food to first responders to thank them 45 days ago and now we hate them?

How long until the Clintons figure out a way to “suicide” Ghislane Maxwell?

Why do some trucks have spikes on the outside of their tire rims?

Are there really mermaids?

If the #2 Pencil is so good, why isn’t it called a #1 Pencil?

What’s Blexit?

How is Herman Cain feeling after catching the Corona flu?

Who is going to be the VP pick? Does it have to be a woman?

Is there a way to stop Trump from coming up with a Covid vaccine coincidentally a few days before the election?

When does the next impeachment hoax start?

What is Obama’s last name?

Why, if I’m so far ahead in all the polls, is there a poll that says that likely voters overwhelmingly think Trump will win?

I have so many questions, I could make a list that is longer than a Sunday afternoon in my basement. That reminds me, it’s so cold here in the basement it would freeze the balls off a pool table. Gotta get Dr. Jill to help me figure out the HVAC controls. Where is that woman when I need her? And why do they make thermostats so hard to figure out?

Come on, man.

So here I am, running for the soul of America. The nice, respectful candidate. The anti-Trump. Elect me and you can be sure that I will be Presidential; I will be be calm and bring grace back to the White House. The world leaders will understand that all of America is a decent and good country again after the tumultuous four years under Crazy Cheetos Face.

At least that’s the point of putting me on the ticket.

But today, after refusing to talk to reporters for 97 days, after completing refusing any press conferences, and after not showIng my face at any events unless everything was scripted….

Today, I took a few questions from reporters.

Why? Maybe it was a little test to see how I’ll do if I’m allowed to speak again. I mean no one actually thinks I can sit in my basement until November without a few press questions.

So, what’s the issue? Well, I got a little stressed by a question and called a reporter a “Lying Dog Face”. I mean, who really wants to answer questions? I certainly won’t once I’m President. Why would I? Trump calls the media the enemy of the state… I can certainly call reporters lying dog faces. No one could possibly blame me or think this is not the way a President should act.

Come on, man.