So here I am, running for the soul of America. The nice, respectful candidate. The anti-Trump. Elect me and you can be sure that I will be Presidential; I will be be calm and bring grace back to the White House. The world leaders will understand that all of America is a decent and good country again after the tumultuous four years under Crazy Cheetos Face.
At least that’s the point of putting me on the ticket.
But today, after refusing to talk to reporters for 97 days, after completing refusing any press conferences, and after not showIng my face at any events unless everything was scripted….
Today, I took a few questions from reporters.
Why? Maybe it was a little test to see how I’ll do if I’m allowed to speak again. I mean no one actually thinks I can sit in my basement until November without a few press questions.
So, what’s the issue? Well, I got a little stressed by a question and called a reporter a “Lying Dog Face”. I mean, who really wants to answer questions? I certainly won’t once I’m President. Why would I? Trump calls the media the enemy of the state… I can certainly call reporters lying dog faces. No one could possibly blame me or think this is not the way a President should act.
Come on, man.