I wish I was in Wisconsin looking at ships like Trump got to do today. Saw that on the news – looked so fun and cool. And Presidential. Standing in the crowd, lots of flags everywhere, announcing big, huge deal to get military ships built. So cool.
Me? I got to leave the basement for a only a few hours. At this point, I don’t think I’m getting enough Vitamin D. I’m sure I have sunlight deprivation. I think it’s causing my brain to be a little mushy. So much so that today I said something mortifyingly stupid.
Luckily, the press edited my “mistake” in most videos to make me look better. Unbelievably I said that 120 million people have now died in US because of the Coronavirus (that’s almost 1/2 the population of the US) — kind of a large mental mushy brain moment. 120 million! Not that bad if they were Trump voters, I guess.
Well, by now, I don’t think anyone expects me to actually put two sentences together. So it’s probably fine. But my issue – after watching a few clips on the news — my question is why couldn’t someone remind me to take the mask off my face when I’m speaking. I just can’t remember to get that right. Sometimes it’s hanging from my ear, or covering my chin. Today, it just looked ridiculous.
Speaking of looking ridiculous – who changed my Twitter photo? I had heard about a million times that the twitter photo is supposed to be flattering. The new photo of me with a mask on? It just makes me look weak, scared, or maybe like a thief in the night that will steal all your hard-earned money. All of those adjectives are way too close to home.
Weak – well, many people have said my election strategy is weak, my fundraising and cash on hand is weak and that my biggest weakness is Joe Biden (were you thinking Hunter?)
Scared – well, folks, scared isn’t actually the right word. Terrified. That’s better. Terrified of debating Trump. No. Terrified my TikTok account was deleted. No. Terrified that I have a TikTok account. Maybe. Wait I heard a joke I can never ever tell because I would probably be called a racist. Here it is: Where does a Mexican go when he gets scared?
Hispanic Room. Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Thief – well, I do plan to raise taxes, get a bunch of feasibility studies on reparations and basically waste (steal?) money taken from every single working person in the USA – if I’m elected. What’s worse than reparations which takes money from people who never had slaves and gives it to people who never were slaves? How about just spending a ton of tax payer money with friends and relatives (and friends of relatives) to do a bunch of government and private studies ON reparations (like millions and millions and millions of dollars) but then never actually giving any money to anyone who really needs it? That’s big government. The pillar of my platform.
But, I digress. I just need to get that Twitter photo switched back.
Come on, man.