The grassroots fundraiser yesterday was great. We raised over a million dollars. Couldn’t have come at a better time. And, Mayor Pete was just swell and said all the difficult things for me like how to text Joe. I never get that one right.
He did really look like Howdy Doody, which was distracting, though. And, he also looked like he needed a haircut. Why does everyone look like they need haircuts?
Anyway, we talked about very important Presidential plans like my workout routine and Mayor Pete being really brave. Overall, I think I did a fine job.
However, my staff wasn’t too favorable in the post-fundraiser meeting with me. Few rough comments like:
— next time we really need to tie his hands behind his back so he doesn’t touch his face – the world has been told not to touch their faces and Joe cannot last a few minutes without doing it. It’s awkward and uncomfortable for those watching. And, at one point it looked like he would have picked his nose if the cameras weren’t on
— thank God Saturday Night Live is on hiatus. This would have made a very bad and potentially damaging skit titled something like “The Most Boring Man”
— when you’re talking to someone about the future, don’t say “IF I become President” like you’re really not sure or maybe not actually not even sure you’ll last the week…. always say WHEN I’m President….
The negativity went on and on. It’s like no one ever told them, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.”
So what?! – I got a few things wrong. At least I didn’t forget which city I’m in or who my wife is. And the day of the week never even came up so I didn’t get that wrong.
That seems like winning, right?
Come on, man.