I love Jill. But after all this time in the house — Corona Virus all the time —- as much as I love her, as much as anyone loves anyone else – sometimes enough is enough. A month in the house…. seems like an eternity… as much as I love her – it’s becoming hard to be cooped up, and she’s become annoying.
She finishes my words, helps me remember what I’m doing, wipes my chin when I eat. She’s helping me get up and down from my chair, reminding me to put on pants, helping me put on my socks. She’s helpful, and I should be thankful – but she’s always around. Talking …. chewing …. breathing… I can’t take it. She keeps reminding me we need to stay quarantined because I’m at high risk from the bat China flu virus thingy. Bats are so cool. I wonder if they taste like chicken?
My point is… some people you can take for months with no problem. Jill is one of those people – but quarantine is really pushing the envelope on this.
And then there is Liz. Pocahontas. She is what I call a “small dose only” person. A person would probably be tempted to shoot themselves if they were quarantined with Liz. Within a few days. That reminds me. I don’t think I’ve seen her husband or heard from him lately. Hmmm.
My team is telling me to take Liz as my VP pick. God help me. And God help the electorate who will be forced to listen to that whiny voice for the next few months. She may be smart, she may have a lot of plans, but she’s extremely annoying. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. I love the smell of chalk. It gets on your hands and then sometimes on your pants but it’s something that I’ve always wondered how they make. Liz might know. Maybe I’ll ask her. Wait – I don’t want to talk to her at all. It scares me that she’s the top of the list for VP. There’s no one else!?
The other thing I’m getting sick of? Jill keeps reminding everyone to stay 6 feet away from me. Like – what’s the problem? – Does she think I’m going to grope everyone!!??
Come on, man.