Month: August 2016

Was a little difficult today speaking to the American Legion. Could not tell if the lackluster support from the crowd was because they didn’t like what I had to say or if they forgot their hearing aids or maybe both.

They may have wanted to hear how I was going to fix the VA or support the Military. But, I actually had other things more important to say. And, I need to save some of my blatant lies for other important things, too.

I wanted to make a point that it was stupid of Trump to meet with the Mexican President. I mean, why go to Mexico? The best Mexican food is in California. Also, my chef makes great Mexican food. Why go to Louisiana? My chef makes Cajun food, too. Seems like a hassle. He’s a fool to reach out to the people and to our neighboring leaders.

And, the worst part of today? After taking almost 5 days out of the public eye (some partying in the Hamptons with the night of the living dead types) I have to start back on cameras when I’m having a bad hair day. Quite depressing.

More later.

I want my money back. The whole point of using Bleachbit is to get rid of everything forever. How did that not work?

The freedom of information act is a joke. The people should only know what I want them to know. Nothing more. All ridiculous. They don’t understand what it takes to run a country, to be a public servant and still want to give your daughter a decent wedding for $3 million dollars. Lines have to be blurred a little. Money comes from where it comes from and deals are made. Not all good deals, but who cares? It’s normal. People don’t need to know about any of it.

My husband was a great President. Sure, the Oval Office had to be cleaned throughly after he left, not sure what happened where, but the country was happy.

We did a good job cashing in on our name. And the Foundation has done a lot of good. So, the public should take the good with the bad… What they don’t know probably won’t hurt them. Probably not. Just a few people killed here and there. Cover ups here and there. Couple of bad deals. And a few chits left to still be cashed in. But might not be that bad. Not 100 percent bought and paid for.

More later.

 

 

 

Wow! Die in a Grease fire, Donald Trump!

Let’s see… Donald Trump said “maybe there is something the Second Amendment people can do about me becoming President.” And everyone wants to lock him up for Treason.

Cheadle tells Trump to DIE in a grease fire and it’s nothing? Love it.

Wonder what someone would do if an actor said I should die in a grease fire?  Love to watch the media get red hot on that!

I’ve heard Cheadle is supportive of many charitable causes – he plays in charity golf tournaments anyway. I’d  like to see him show up on South Side of Chicago. I bet he goes same time I do. When pigs fly. Ha.

More vodka. Ha again. I’m seriously getting funnier by the day! Meant to write More later…

The other black guy not voting for me (along with Larry Elder, Ben Carson, Colin Powell and Herman Cain) is Sheriff Clarke.

I get that he’s not a fan considering the negativity I continually show towards law enforcement — and the pretty bad treatment of police by Obama. Police are guilty until proven innocent in Obama’s mind.

I knew he didn’t like me but didn’t actually know he was black until I saw a picture of him today. He’s hoping Trump will support police and help restore law and order. Also, he’s a big second amendment guy. Me, not so much. Gonna make sure the judges I appoint take away the Second Ammendment. First Ammendment maybe also — who knows. Gonna be fun!

I hope everyone has forgotten that I didn’t go to Louisiana by now. Not going catch me going into the South side of Chicago or Detroit or Ferguson for that matter either. Love the black votes, but they are voting for me without me going to them. They’re with me. I’m with me, too.

More later…

 

Holy crap is he boring. He goes out in my place for a few days and doesn’t hit the news cycle once …. Well, except one news anchor that compared him to the guy that’s in the picture frame when you buy a cheap frame. Basically Nobody.

There were some priests that were protesting at his church. I don’t know. Weird Catholic crap. No other blip in the radar at all.

He annoys me. That typical Harvard attitude — “I’m a friend of everyone but I’m still better than you” bull. And, yes, I can’t get over that he looks like the creepy science teacher I hated in middle school. Then his wife, wow — she looks down on me, too. Like “my husband has always been loyal and good to me – how about yours?” — I want to say to her “well, mine was President of the United States and yes, screws everybody but yours reminds me of luke warm oatmeal so you can kiss my ass. For a minute.”

Hmmm…it’s a good night to vent. Have Barbra Streisand and Jimmy Carter peddling people for money for me now. Hopefully people on our email list will actually know who the two of them are and be slightly moved to send money…Barbra the recluse and Jimmy, worst President ever. We must be desperate.

Yikes, have to actually see people again tomorrow. Yuck.

More later…

Literally cannot.

What does he think is so special about his private parts that a girl would want a picture of them texted to her? Again. The husband of my future Chief of Staff? Wow, at least we have at least one thing in common. Husbands that can’t keep their d$&# in their pants.

I have never gotten any such texts from Anthony. What am I, chopped liver? Little too old? I think he just likes brunettes.

More later….

Couple of thoughts.

First…I know who Gary Johnson is. He’s one of the third party candidates with a snow ball’s chance in hell. But, I did spend some time looking into him this afternoon. And, I watched his add for the Balanced Reunion. The ad was a little hard to follow and I didn’t understand some of it, just went too quickly. I didn’t have the focus to sit through it twice, but got the gist of it … it was cute. It also gave me a great idea.

So the idea of me wearing a NASCAR outfit with sponsors is actually one I could do. Makes sense. Maybe a little more subtle though. I’ve heard about product placement in movies. If Pepsi wants to have one of the main characters in the movie drink Pepsi, they pay the studios a placement fee. It’s a subtle form of advertising and quite brilliant.

So, for me – for extra cash – I can have Huma or someone represent me for product placement fees.  So, work out a deal with companies for me to “advertise them” in my “daily life.”

I could mention food I “like” by name or even casually stop by restaurants, like when I stopped into Chipoltle. I could bring a Starbucks with me the next time I have to testify/lie in front of Congress and sit it on the table in front of me in view of the camera for hours. I could get out of the plane with a beer or maybe a big Ralph Lauren logo on my jacket or tops. I could carry a bag with a Citibank logo or umbrella with a vodka logo on it. Subtle but there. Sell opportunities to the highest bidders. Great idea. Will think about that. Along with making States bring me bags of cash if they need the National Guard or me to come to sites of Natural Disasters, cop memorials, terrorist attacks sites, etc. Plenty of ways to keep making public office an ATM/money machine for me personally.

Other thought. Maybe I just skip the debates. I think they could hurt me more than help me. I could start now painting a picture of me on stage with the Bully Trump and how crazy he is and how I just don’t think I should legitimize his candidacy by debating him. He’s a joke candidate. And, if Gary Johnson actually manages to get 10 percent, and there are three of us, I can boycott it as simply ridiculous and let those two go at it.

I have a few weeks, but staying away seems most prudent at this time…

More later.

 

 

My buddy, Justin. Needs a cool nickname like “J-Lake” or maybe “Cool-Timber” or “Cool-T” — how about “Ice-T” … Ice T has a nice ring! I’m going to try that next time I talk about my pal Justin. Awesome to show America I have cool celebrity friends that trust me and that I can call by great nicknames. Ice-T awesome. Wonder why no one came up with that before? Really good.

Really want to come up with some hip songs or quotes that make me sound a little cooler for the Bernie fans. I know some good classics like “Give Peace a Chance” or “What’s so funny about Peace, Love and Understanding?” Bernie fans are basically the new hippies I think. Kind of naive, smoke marijuana and little smelly. The songs about peace from any era will be a big hit.

Basically, I just want to make sure and show everyone I can fit in everywhere with everyone. I do a pretty good “black” accent. I say aks instead of ask when I talk to Al Sharpton and get a little twang when I’m in the South. When I’m in front of the big banks paying me millions, I offer them the world. Then, I go to the public and pretend the banks are evil. I can do it all and be all to all people. Getting good at it. For TPP, against it. War and military strength yes (or no) depending on the audience. I sell myself as multilingual – I’m not stupid, I know that means I can speak many languages and I cannot – but I can speak negro, white, rich, poor, trailer park, beaner, Jew, board room, celebrity – anything. I have a doctorate in bullshit – probably the better way to say it, but that really doesn’t sound as good. Still staying away from the media.

Note to self: who the crap is Gary Johnson!?!

More later…

 

I’ve always been a Yankee fan. Well, that’s what I said when I wanted to be a NY Senator. So, now I need votes in Florida and Ohio. Maybe I should say I’ve always been a Browns fan? Dolphins?

Indians? Marlins? They are other baseball teams so maybe less believable that I’ve always been their fan AND I’ve always been a Cubs fan and always been a Yankees fan.

But, I think I have a trustworthy face. And no one is really expecting me to be truthful at this point.

Little off subject, but Hannity is basically out of his mind. His people keep calling my staff to ask me to come on his show. I’m not going on. I haven’t had a press conference since December 2015. But who’s counting? Why would I go on his show?

And what kind of shit is Hannity peddling anyway?

Off his rocker and totally in the bag for Trump. He has the gall to report the truth on some small, minor, insignificant illegal immigration problems like:

11.3 million in country illegally, at a cost of $113 BILLION with a B dollars per year in education, medical care, justice expenditures, welfare and other general costs

an estimated 820,000 of those in the country illegally are convicted criminals

more than 35% of federal sentences in 2015 were for crimes committed by illegal immigrants

18% of drug trafficking, 30% of kidnapping, 75% of drug possession, 5% of murders committed by illegals

and blah blah blah

The media is typically soft on this stuff (buried in the back of the news area) … It just doesn’t fit the agenda of the narrative that we have no problems and that we don’t need a wall or other means of protecting the border.

Just because over 35% of federal crimes in 2015 were committed by illegal immigrants — it still makes you a bad person to not want them here. A bigot. You have to be anti-Mexican — it makes no sense to say that you simply do not want those crimes continued against our US citizens. That you want to get rid of AT LEAST the bad ones. That’s racist.

Sure, there’s the occasional outcry like when that cute girl was gunned down in San Francisco or that nice boy was brutally tortured, beaten to death and then set on fire or one of those other many many many many many stories like that — they hit the news cycle for a second and them quickly swept under the rug. Wasn’t there something about sex trafficking? 10, 11 and 12 year old girls molested and raped? Oh, and a 90 year old man beaten to death in his own home?

Thousands of children sexually abused or the killers that get only very short sentences or the repeat criminals not deported – stuff like that – really doesn’t get much play at all from the media. And, who does Hannity think he is to buck the system and point these problems out?

Of course Amnesty is the answer. If we make all these illegals LEGAL, including the criminals, it will just add those crime percentages to the country as crime done by legal US citizens so it won’t look bad anymore. Of course, the drugs, the rapes, the murders will continue, but no longer being done by people here illegally. Better. Sounds like a much better option than getting them out of the country.

The 11 million illegals sound like great additional future voters for the Democratic Party. If they’re in Kansas, they can vote this November. Other states, too. So smart. Why would we want people to have to show some kind of identification when they vote? Just ask them if they can vote and if they say yes, you let them vote. We used to have dead people vote, so what’s wrong with letting illegal “undocumented” people vote?

I really must be losing it. I can’t believe I’m spending this much time on my day off thinking about such boring stuff. I need to do important stuff like figure out which pantsuits to wear next week. Ooohhh —  I really should wear those teeth whitening trays, too. Really need the discipline to accomplish that task. I think it’s probably the yellow teeth that make people like me less every time they see me. Whoa, that was a little harsh. Rambling now. How did I get on this topic in the first place? I need another drink.

More later……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had a bowl of oatmeal today that was more interesting than Tim. But at least he’s working the weekend for me while I rest. Worth something, I guess. Kind of reminds me of a creepy science teacher I had in 7th grade, but ….he’s working. These 4 day work weeks are taking their toll on me.

Who does LA Times polling math and how do they have Trump ahead of me in general election? Last Sunday? Well, after all that time in that dreaded state last week those numbers are going to move up, I’m sure.

Note to self: get ahold of Bleachbit and demand some percentage of profit for all new customers from the advertising my campaign gave them last week.

More later…